November 12, 2004

Planes, Ships, and Automobiles

Last Wednesday was the first time I'd ever flown in my life. After removing my belt, bracelets, jacket, shoes, earrings AND necklace I was allowed to leave Nofo. The flight was good. I only felt like I was going to die twice and was left without hearing for only 2 hours.
I'm going to do the rest of the Florida Vacation as a multiple choice test. If you know me at all you can probably guess the answers.

Vacations are:
A. a way to feel good about being a glutton and laying on your ass for an entire week
B. an adventure to a place you would never get to go on a regular trip
C. a wild trip into the psyche of Salsa music
D. All of the above

People in Florida are:
A. Not American
B. All American
C. None of the above

In the left lane of traffic in Florida you are supposed to:
A. Drive faster than the right
B. Drive frightfully slower than the right
C. Park your car and look for Alligators.

A time share vacation package is:
A. a quick way to get a cheap trip to another state and have some fun
B. a good educational experience
C. a hellish foray into the land of vacation real estate and perversion of moral values

My favorite thing at Universal Studios was:
A. Pushing children outta MY WAY to take a picture with the X-MEN
B. Cutting shamelessy through the line to ride the Dueling Dragons roller coaster
C. Forcing Tonya to ride the Jurassic Park water ride by making her wear a poncho
D. Putting SALSA on a hamburger
E. Yelling obscenities at the ghost of Atlantis
F. All of the Above

On the cruise boat I:
A. had a series of meaningless affairs with strange men
B. got drunk and went to sleep
C. went snorkeling and inhaled sea water
D. was searched THOUROUGHLY by a customs officer

When I layed out in the sun in the Bahamas I:
A. Tanned
B. Burned
C. Actually got whiter and was bit by a mutant mosquito

On a riverboat cruise through Ft. Lauderdale (Miami), I
A. met a white woman with black hair extensions
B. danced the YMCA with senior citizens
C. was nearly cast from the boat after accepting a Miller from a cruise-mate

Overall the trip was:
A. an exploration into the hedonistic values of Americans
B. stressful
C. Donde' esta' el bano?
D. Fun
E. All of the above.........

Give me a call peeps..we'll talk
L







1 comment:

Carol Ann said...

I'm almost afraid to ask, man. Is this like one of those "Choose Your Adventure" things?