pffew...

The message of the past two weeks, at least around me, has been "talk about it, it will make you feel better..." ---

So my uncle died last week. I went expecting to go to a funeral, but was actually a memorial service. Upon learning of his impending situation; he decided it would be best to be cremated. I've had mixed feelings about the whole thing. My mom and her brothers and sisters have been going through a roller coaster for two weeks and "a funeral" might have been a bit more than anyone could have handled. I think with funerals it's the fact that that person is there before you, even if only in body. You can't help but feel they are going to get up and start behaving as if they were sleeping quietly waiting for their mourners to slip past and wake them up.

The preacher didn't know my uncle at all which made me kinda feel weird about him telling everybody there how he "was". And it made me sad then his entire life's acheivements were summed up in less than a paragraph:...."he donated 8 gallons of blood to the red cross"; "John ran track in high school", "John served his country",
"John liked pickles", "John worked for 20 years at some factory"..

Then the preacher asked people to stand up and share memories of my uncle. About 5 out of 120 some people spoke. Of which were two of his sisters, a high school coach, and a second or third cousin. My mom was one of the two sisters. I've have never been more proud of her for standing up and speaking for her brother. I love my mom for saying that: he was a little boy, he was a teenager, he was a soldier, a man graduating college, a man getting married, and a father.

She's brave in ways I can only hope to be at some point. I couldn't help but think, if this was me; who would speak? Who among the masses of people that you come into contact with would have the courage to say how they really and truly feel about the person they are saying good-bye to?

After the services, the church had made a huge feast for the family. I seen cousins that I didn't even know were my cousins and re-introduced myself to family that I had forgot, but that hadn't forgot me. This part was, in it's own way; kinda happy. It was like loosing one member and gaining 20. I can only hope in the years that come, that we get together for celebrations rather than losses.

I think I'll close with that thought. Now on to lighter fares again..