December 21, 2006

Back away from the Puppy.

Just a little friendly Christmas PSA for the folks….

Do NOT get a puppy for Christmas.

Yes, it is totally adorable and it's adoreableness would grow exponentially as it ambled through the wrapping paper shrapnel on Christmas morning.

Yes, that cage is rather small; and would it kill them to throw the measliest of squeaky toys in there to pass the time?

Yes, your friends would be impressed by your choice of clever, ironic, or non-sensical name (The Fonz, Rumsfeld, Bagel).

I found myself reassuring myself of these same facts just yesterday at the old mall pet store, as my sister and were entranced by an English Bulldog pup.

How soon I'd forgotten, how just one year ago I made a similar decision that almost ruined me.

I dunno. I don’t' have any really intelligent things to say about how dog ownership is at least a 10-year commitment and you should do your research or blah blah blah.

I'm just saying it's a bad idea to get a puppy for Christmas. Get a Cinnabon instead. Cinnabon won't eat your deodorant.

December 7, 2006

Let it snow!

It occurred to me last Friday when Norfolk's high hit about 80 or so, that we could really use some snow. I'll try some tribal dances and see what happens today, but in the mean time here's the AFV video I found on youtube.

December 1, 2006

Carolannarama: November 2006

I was meandering around OEF, and came upon this entry, in which I promised to keep up posts of it's kind. And since it's been AN ENTIRE YEAR, I figured I'd keep my promise. Irregahdless, here's my Carolannarama for November 2006, which, as I type, has been over for 44 minutes.

1. I got canned!

I've actually been unemployed for a few weeks now. The company I was working for is having some tremendous issues, and since I've been seized by the holiday spirit, I won't spew any sorts of venom. All I will say is that I feel just a teensy bit like I've been paroled---plus, I got a little severance package and a paid vacation for the holidays. I sort of feel like I'm in college again, on Christmas break. But with a lot less hangovers.

2. I won big at the Game of Life!

I can't be too bummed about getting laid off. Why you ask? Well, just two days after getting sacked, my sister took me out for a celebratory "don't have to share airspace with that pack of mouth-breathers anymore" dinner at the Tropicana, and while there I played my favorite slot machine, The Game of Life. (I'd link to a picture or explanation but I couldn't find one in my extensive 70-second search while prepping for this entry). But, in short, it's a video-slot machine that has a bonus game that allows you to play a game on the screen that mimics the board game experience. You get to spin the multi-colored wheel, and the machine will congratulate you for doing things like inventing floppy discs, or inventing gatorade. And, if you're lucky, you make it all the way to the end of the bonus/board game and retire (which gives you 6 times your credits). So, besides being a barrel of monkeys, playing Life is way more fun than your average slot machine. BUT, on this fateful night, I got a different kind of bonus, where I didn't get to play Life, but I did win $400. Which I'm taking as a sign that things are going to be just fine. Either that or they've finally hooked me into becoming a degenerate gambler.

3. I read a whole book!

I've got a confession to make---For an English major, I really don't read a whole heck of a lot. I buy an assload of books, and have recently realized that I might have a compulsion for obtaining them. But then they sit stacked two feet high on my nightstand for months; during which I'll read the first 3o pages or so of each book before "hiding the evidence" in some drawer. Then I've got to replenish the stack.

I think my problem stems from this class I had from 7th-8th grade called T.A.C.T. (Thinking About Critical Thinking), where reading assignments were doled out in hundreds of pages at a time. I can remember counting pages until the next chapter breaks, and losing entire Sundays trying to catch up on my reading before some crazy-ass essay question test that the teacher might spring on us. It turned reading from something I loved as a tiny tot into a chore, and to this day I still find myself unconsciously looking ahead to the next chapter-stop and counting the pages until the next milestone.

But anyway, I read this whole book! I might have a little to do with the extra time I've got from being a jobless loser, but I takes it where I can gets it. If you were hoping for a review, I'm not all that great, though---but I liked this book a lot, despite the corny name for the narrator (Baby).

4. I finally got a laptop!

My sister decided that this year she'd get me a laptop for Christmas because she is the dopest sister in all the land. Best buy had a decent sale for Black Friday, and I snagged me a little blog-in-bed machine. This isn't really all that exciting a deal, as I am the last person on the planet to know the thrill of approving a friend request with no pants on, but whatever. I'm jazzed.

5. I've been to Target four times in the last 3 days!

This doesn't necessitate an exclamation point, but I'm a stickler for sticking to a motif. Most of my Target trips have been Christmas Light related, as those bitches like to break and just randomly not work at all even though your sister has already dragged out the ladder and climbed up it and staple-gunned them to your house. But as I was exiting the store the last time I was there, I ran into a veritable wall of 55-65 year olds just sort of standing right outside the doors. Puzzled, I asked the Target cart-wrangler guy wearing a santa-hat against his will if there was a tour or something; and he just said in the least enthusiastic voice ever, "Yeah, from Canada" and motioned towards THREE motorcoaches lined up. I don't really know why I found that amusing, but I did. Again, could be lack of excitement due to no job. Or Canadians are inherently funny. Who knows.