April 13, 2017

Leslie Journal - The Lost Files: May 2016

Sometimes my blog entries fall into the drafts folder of gmail and never see the sun. Maybe they are meant to be there, who knows - but I like reflection. So I bring you - the lost tapes blogs. 

May 2016ish

On writing: I thought this would be therapeutic, but my eyes hurt …push through.

Purple Rain: It’s literally rained every day since Prince died. Coincidence?  I think not.  Even Mother Nature is sad. Although admittedly, on the day he passed I was on my way to Hogwarts School of Wizarding and Witchcraft and literally incapable of sadness.   Feel sad about something? Launch yourself at 60 miles an hour up a spinning roller coaster and try not to vomit.

Napalm Emails: I was literally a button click away from closing the book on a nearly 20 year old friendship.  I didn’t push send.  It seems we’ll survive.  I don’t know how much longer I can keep feeling like the dog that shit in the house in regards to this particular pal.   I’m a person with ideas and feelings, I don’t remember signing anything in the contract that says we have to be in lockstep agreement about everything or we’re just not friends.

Amateur Craft Beer Serving: "Here try my mediocre Belgium wheats.... No, it’s not an IPA. It is an IPA. I like it, hints of chocolate.  Here we have yellow beer, brown beer, and beer so brown it’s black."

Internet diet: I’m going on one. 

April 6, 2017

Leslie Journal - 4.6.2017

Hair Status: Back in brown town.

Weight: Undetermined.  Skirt season has returned and all pants are banished until otherwise noted.

  • Finish VAB I courseware
  • Finish VAB II courseware
  • Finish Mymic website
  • Finish Leslie website
  • Squeeze in life between items 1-4. 
  • Try to explain why LOTR: the Two Towers is the worst of the movies because of all the walking.
  • Remember my value. 

Anxiety Level: 3 bowls..err glasses of wine per evening

The good stuff: Mom called just to say she loved me on her lunch break today, yes...like the Stevie Wonder song. LJ and Teri have volunteered to do "multimedia" at church, so they could help ME with my work. Waylon is walking now, and also helping his mom clean their kitchen with his tongue. Busch Gardens is open.  AND my sports team (beach Wiffle Ball) WON a game. Bey and Marcie are the best fur kids ever. 

March 7, 2017

Leslie Journal - 3.7.2017

Hair Status: Forcefully rejecting red highlights as if they were an invading virus.

Weight: 2lbs down, but the real accomplishment here is not eating an entire bag of Tostitos Lime, despite being very aware it was in the cabinet...onward and upward

  • Look super bomb for Elaine's wedding in two weeks
  • call my Aunt who insists on telephonic communication
  • manage 3 social outings without flaking this month
  • defeat fitbit nemesis (even if it means running to Canada)
  • remain a resurgent force of light and strength despite repeated attacks by work drama llama
Anxiety Level: Somewhere between an Annie Lennox or Radiohead song..

Thoughts on duality: If you let your brain drive the car that is "you" for too long, eventually your heart will hijack the steering wheel and take over that shit (or vice versa). YOLO.

February 21, 2017

Leslie Journal - 2.21.17

Social Media: A wise woman once said, "Fuck this shit". She lived happily ever after. 
(stolen from awesome Connie's awesome Insta).

Hair Status: Will in the 'Upside Down'

Weight: Outta control (for real - I can't stop eating my emotions).  I seriously posted a large pizza the other day and ate every f*cking bite of that thing.  I'd dare not mention how I smashed the Harris Teeter 7-Layer Bean dip.

I'm not going to post daily sweat pictures, but I'm back on the paid for version of Weight Watchers today.  Just as before - you won't get totals, judgement, or extreme fitness - just a little more mustard and a little less mayo.

Promises, promises: 

  • Eat out of boredom
  • Emotional Eat
  • Eat after 8
  • Drink Calories
  • Eat Candy/Fried Food
  • Skip Breakfast

Goals: This one's for you favorite jeans.
Hopefully back on in 2 weeks. It's not time for you to retire yet.

February 3, 2017

Leslie Journal - Feb. 3, 2017

Hair Status: Pink Lob

Weight: All about that bass, no treble

On pants:  The struggle is real, but I am mighty. Also - it's cold AF, so I will abide.  
(Is this a haiku?) 

Social Media: Out in the wilderness with Hillary, Barack and the other Democrats.  (At least I have a cool p*hat to keep my head warm.)  Currently only reading shares from liberal baes and instagram animal posts.   Still following the cast of Pretty Little Liars to keep up with fashion. Keeping a mental list of conservative friends like Arya Stark. 
Democrats are totally the Stark's right now and America is Winterfell. 

Ridin Dirty: Sally Pontiac at 11 years old still runs off carefully timed voodoo rituals, prayers, and love. Please ol' girl - I need you just a little longer. 

Battle Royale with Cheese: Management is NOT what I thought. 
"Like my man Puff says: Mo' money, mo problems." - Notorious B.I.G.