December 30, 2008

Is it just me?

Or is this the goofiest/creepiest looking MF you've seen all day? Possibly year? Even dumber; his name is CHIP SALTSMAN. I think he's in the wrong line of work, frankly.

December 29, 2008 we return to our show...already in progress...

It's mildly disorienting returning directly to work after an "away" xmas visit. For one, I was totally gearing up to sleep right until noon when my cell phone alarm jarred me back to work reality. Two, Everyone was steadily pulling down holiday decorations and stacking Christmas cards and we're still in December? Maybe I'm lazy or old fashioned, but the work on my desk is still 2008. I'll take down my lights in 2009, when my 2008 workload has left. Three, I ate way too much. My mom booby trapped every room of her house with Reese's cups, potato chips, and varying cakes and cookies. The refrigerator was a smorgasbord of meat trays and cheese wheels and beer!?

Anyways I don't really feel like I vacay'd at all. It's more like a nap where I ate alot and dreamed I fed deer in my yard. If it was a dream, then why do I feel so full? :)

December 24, 2008

Jesus is the reason

2008 Lists

Before I trek off to the internet-less mountains of Covington I thought I'd make some lists. It's the end of the year, I've been a good girl writing blogs with sorta real content - so here goes:

This is by no means all the music I was listening to this year - These were just some diamonds in the treasure chest of 2008. Most of these I loved the whole cd, so it was difficult to narrow down extreme favorites.

Leslie's 2008 Most Played Selections
1. Bloc Party - Ion Square
2. Shiny Toy Guns - Richochet
3. Kings of Leon - Sex On Fire
4. Paramore - Decode
5. Mates of State - Get Better
6. LadyTron - Burning Up
7. SantoGold - Lights Out
8. Vampire Weekend - A Punk
9. Pumpkin Soup - Kate Nash
10. Gnarls Barkley - Charity Case
11. TV On the Radio - DLZ
12. The Pierces - Secret
13. Coldplay - Life in Technicolor
14. Beck - Profanity Prayers
15. Beyonce - Single Ladies
16. Common (ft. Lily Allen) - Drivin Me Wild
17. Q-Tip - Gettin Up
18. Black Ghosts - Anyway You Choose to Give it
19. Black Kids - I’m Making Eyes at You
20. Metro Station - Shake It
21. MGMT - Electric Feel
22. Natalie Walker - Shadow
23. My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges
24. Belle and Sebastian, - Boy with the Arab Strap
25. Jose Gonzales - Teardrop

Looking forward to some new Deftones, Third Eye Blind, and hopefully Doves (where are you guys?!)

The NorVa’s Calendar was disappointing overall for 2008. 5 concerts is an all time low for me. Considering how much I enjoy them. The selections this year were just bad.
Some glimmering exceptions I actually attended this year -
Flogging Molly, Shiny Toy Guns,Dresden Dolls, Explosions in The Sky & Third Eye Blind

Some events of NOTE
Winefest - Spring Edition - Twice a year opportunity for public intoxication. Can’t be missed. Shouldn’t be.
Virginia International Tattoo - No idea how much planning goes into something, until you see it’s people in action.
India Fest - Henna tats will make you want real ones.
Barack Obama! - Nuff Said.
Spirit of Norfolk Cruise - Always wanted to see the other side of Norfolk. Unfortunately it’s alot of construction and storage units.
Nags Head - Was a nice break from work and a torturous cut-off from the internet and my local fanfare.
OEF Triple Threat Summit!- 3 cities, 3 girls, 3 Days.
That’s just how we roll. Trains, Metros, and automobiles.

December 22, 2008

Not so stolen...

Over the weekend, I temporarily misplaced my debit card. In a moment of extreme paranoia, I called and reported the card stolen only to find the card chillin in my purse a mere hour later. I tried to call back and report “Dumbass” vs. “Stolen” to no avail. Thus began the cardless waiting game and right before the holidays none the less.

I’m still not entirely sure it’s a bad thing, considering my alpha Christmas list has been handled already. Actually handing cash over at Bottom Dollar last night made me realize that maybe I should purchase milk instead of martini olives and evaluate how much groceries to purchase immediately preceding a homecoming.

I always buy enough perishables to feed an army, go home and come back to the creatures from Little Shop of Horrors singing “Feed Me Seymour” in my fridge.

Anyways mess ups teach you how to do it right the next time, or so one of my friends said a long time ago...I think. Something like that. Whatever. :)

December 19, 2008


I bought 6 tix to our company's raffle. Recession schmession! I'm winning this year people. The 5 year drought will end today.
That turkey is mine!

December 17, 2008

Shake Your Maraccas, SHAKE THEM NOW!!

So this past Monday while wearing a particularly fragile shirt, I marveled at how I made it through the day stain free. No mustard, no chilli, no soda. While I don’t try to be a messy eater, somehow food seems to launch itself at me, or I fling myself into it. One way or the other, I wear it.

Testing my limits of luck and endurance, I picked up a barbeque sandwich from Dog’N Burger. It was a testament to deliciousness in foodkind. In a particularly out of character move, I sat down to eat in the kitchen. LJ (4) oogled at the sandwich and gave the extremely cute face, but his mother hates it when I spoil his dinner so I did the firm “NO” and took on a sorta hunchback position to further enforce the NO. (I resembled Baby Cat when someone attempts to take her chicken or turkey) LJ responded accordingly by telling both his parents on me, and then THEY reacted by staring at my sandwich and requesting pieces too. I normally purchase for ALL when I go out to eat, but I had a Chic-Fil-A vendetta against Tiesha and Co., so I ate the sandwich slowly, methodically, and tormented them with jokes. It FELT right.

An evening stable at my house is Dora and Diego hour. It’s a win win. They teach me Spanish and LJ dances. I went to get Terry (5 months) so we could shake our “maracas”. Basically Dora tells you to do something, waits, and then repeats the command louder. Not wanting to upset Dora, I sorta twisted round and round with Terry and was sorta mimicking the maracas with his hands (no I was not shaking the baby!). After after about 20 minutes of Dora we sat down.

and............... Terry threw up everything he’d eaten for the day err week all over my shirt.

The Moral:
Don’t eat in front of others unless you have something to share (oh and it angers the gods when you don’t do EXACTLY as Dora Says.)

December 10, 2008

Christmas is so gay.

My sister and I happened upon these gems at the local home & garden store (which is mostly a Christmas store, actually). This iPhone picture totally does not do them justice. "Clint", the gay cowboy merman (left) is 8 inches tall. There are several more, and I definitely plan to at least pick up Jack Hammer before the season is over.

I don't know why I love these things so much. They're just totally random & I think the perfect example of how ridiculous Christmas really is.

And yes, that is leather-pants-era Elvis serenading the fellas. And yes I purposely have him straddling a red chrimmas light.

From Leslie's Despair Calendar....

I was hanging my multicolor light set around my bulletin board when I noticed this months artwork from my despair calendar. This isn't the exact same one, but I whipped this one together real quick for your viewing pleasure.

Made me laugh. :)

December 4, 2008

Pony-o-rama December 2008

1. Overdrafts
Last month I was certain Wachovia was involved in a coup to make Leslie bankrupt. I watched helplessly as my bank seemingly re-ordered the timing of my bills for maximum overdraft penalties. I’m currently working on a chart to illustrate my mood swings as related to cash flow and the devastation of needlessly lost monies, in addition to a chart on friends “helpful” budget advice as I lay motionless in black hole of despair.

2. Twilight
Since Harry Potter ended - I’ve been floating aimlessly on a sea of books that I seem to purchase and never read. I read (past tense) literature in college. I know great works when I see it. Life doesn’t allow me to sit still and look up all the words I don’t know in a Jane Austen novel or let me spend time wiki-ing the foreign policy alliterations in Persepolis. Enter Twilight -- it’s no Harry, but it’s a fun easy read. It’s the Gossip Girl of my otherwise smart TV lineup. It’s the chocolate in my diet of apples - and it’s the reason I’ve been coming to work sleep deprived from reading the past few weeks.

3. The Po-Po
Sigh, I have long running issues with law enforcement.
This morning FEDERAL FBI AGENTS..stopped me outside my townhouse to ask about my neighbor. She did something VERY bad apparently. Prior to the agent’s questioning, I dropped all my stuff and just stood still and the lady cop (who did not look like Scully btw) was like "No, no, we just want to ask you some questions - you can hold your purse!" I’ve become such a ball or paranoia, I assume I’ve unwittingly done something wrong first.
I have one unpaid parking ticket and a few late medical bills. I keep wondering if that puts me in the same group as drug dealers and armed bingo hall assailants.
I suppose I should practice making wine with apple juice and old socks. At least then I can still carry on my happy hour traditions in the big house.

4. Gaming Systems
I want a Wii or an XBox. I have no time, less than no money, but I want one. I played Rock Band last March and have been hooked ever since. I want to play D.C. vs. Mortal Kombat. and then I want to play House of the Dead, and then I want to play Guitar Hero. I remind myself it’s a WANT, not a need. Then I look around my room for things to sell on Craigslist.

I can’t stop watching this show. It’s become my latest “where did this show come from” find. The good - It got me away from L&Order marathons. The bad - I worry no doctor I see is as good as House. What if my bug bite is not a bug bite, but a rare strand of Red Pine Chicken Paratoxia?

6.Pumpkin spice & Chai tea
Last year for Christmas, my friend Sunny gave me a gift certificate for Starbucks....and a year long addiction to pricey warm beverages.

December 1, 2008

Thanksgiving Recap

My holiday was good. Since Mom didn't cook..there was no overeating! Malcolm was extremely pleasant (at least to my face). Mom gave away the Elvis lamp and the upstairs was actually WARM thus proving my theory that the lamp was inhabited by my Aunt Nancy’s restless spirit. Remove the spirit the upstairs gets warm.

I returned early to the 757 on Saturday. I was going to stay right up until Monday morning, but it was callling for a “wintry” mix. Here that equals cold wet rain, in the Highlands that means slickery roads and overall trouble. Afton Mountain (in Charlottesville) proves to be particularly challenging as the fog is like driving through a dense bag of cotton balls.

Mom and I ate dinner with Malcolm’s son Howard and his wife’s family. While I felt a little nostalgic for the days when my mom was the house matron/hostess, I didn’t have to worry about my mother burning her fingers (and other parts) from spilled turkey juice. There was little talking, so in these quiet moments of eating I wondered why I only eat Stove-Top stuffing once a year when it’s so easy to make and so readily available.

Judy has taken up photography on some of the hardest of animal subject material. Her Nikon Coolpix probably imagined it would have been shooting Christmas trees or flower gardens but instead is being used for Hummingbirds and Deer. She’s getting the animals near her, I’ll give her that - but they are green and brown blurs.

The deer are actually quite fascinating ALIVE. I’m used to seeing them in varying faces of death on the side of the road and in my Uncle’s truck. My mom has 7 deer. 3 Does, 3 Bucks, and 1 little one. The does (& child) play along the side of the house at dusk. They routinely eat all the bird food as well as the medley of foods Judy leaves out for them at night. The bucks stand cautiously near the edge of the woods keeping vigilant. I credit the bucks for being 10x more wary than their female counterparts. Just because my mom is fantastic doesn’t mean everyone is.

Case in point:
I never pictured myself to be the Jane Goodall type, but when random hillbillies rode through to spotlight the deer - me and Malcolm ran to turn on the porch lights like action heros. I felt a little crazy activating my cars alarm system and flashing the porch lights but it did the trick and the deer scattered, foiling the would-be assassins plan.

I believe there’s no dignity in shooting a deer in someone’s yard. It’s like hunting a domesticated cat. What does it say about you slaying something that will walk right up to you, especially near a neighborhood filled with sleeping Grands and childre? I couldn’t even give them a poaching or hunger benefit of the doubt. Call me crazy, but if you have enough money to buy a .22, a compound bow and arrow, and a 2009 F150 with halogen beams - then you probably aren’t hunting for food purposes.

We avoided black friday shopping altogether and I felt good about that. There’s nothing I can think of that I want so badly as to risk getting trampled over. I was shocked that in the news footage in NY after that man was killed people were still shopping and looking over their purchases. I would have thought Wal-mart might’ve closed the store but..not so much.

Instead me and mom drove right past Valley View mall - straight to the movies then off to Hollins for dinner. Twilight was good save for one scene, that I laughed loudly and disturbed some of the nearby teens. This maybe the one instance where the book provides some much needed insight - I didn’t think it was acted badly at all. I do however think it’s hard for people who aren’t awkward to “be awkward”. Especially when awkward is more or less an internal for clumsiness.

In summary, Stuffing is wonderful. Spotlighting neighborhood deer is a sport for the morally inept. A discounted GPS probably isn’t worth dying or trampling someone over. Teen movies are teen movies. My mom is also not a photographer. :)