March 31, 2009

Larry's New Tat

My brother after teasing me about getting a Koi tattoo went and got one himself. Apparently he didn't exactly hate the idea as much as he let on. I, on the other hand cannot find anything I like enough to have stamped on me forever. Again the whole non-committal nature to anything. This doesn't mean I don't want one, but it may well be 2022 before I make a decision. The only things I'd want would take an entire arm and it's too hot to be sentenced to long sleeves at work for eternity.

March 25, 2009


This gum is not long lasting like the commercials says. On average (through my own human trials might I add) it lasts about 1 minute of flavor. Not only does it loose flavor quick but it almost hurts your mouth about 3 minutes later.

I recommend tic-tacs for fresher breath, longer taste, and bang for your buck.

Epic Fail - Stride gum.

Am saddened I actually paid for you when I can get gum for free.

March 24, 2009

Tuesday Absurdity

Because I like weird things and pony anachronisms - I found this artist who takes My Little Ponies and transforms them into movie characters.

Man, wait til I find my Strawberry Shortcakes and Rainbow Brights!

March 19, 2009

Twitter, Beastie Boys---Blog instead of Comment

I decided to blog instead of comment to Leslie's opus on her twitterized consciousness cos' I can get pretty wordy. I will probably contradict myself by getting bored with the topic and quitting after four sentences, but oh well.

I've also recently gotten into this Twitter thing. The only reason I did was cos my friend Jay Mohr was like "Facebook is played out, everyone's on Twitter anyway." He's on neither, but it sparked my interest. The only thing I remotely like about Facebook is posting nonsense statusii, so Twitter gives me "just tha yellas"*. I've had a few random people start "following" me, and I promptly blocked them, but for the most part it's alright. I follow Nightline's tweets b/c I am a super-nerd, and also have discovered through his tweets that ABC News' Dan Harris is an undercover indie rock enthusiast, which totally contradicts his stuffy poindexter on-air persona. Tho it makes me wonder if it's really him tweeting or some intern, secretly forwarding his own musical agenda whilst simultaneously making Dan Harris look like slightly less of a ding-dong. I will say, tho, if the news/media doesn't stop talking about Twitter and what it says about us and celebrities Twittering while they're on a talk-show couch & Diddy trying to influence my 140 characters I'm just going off it. There is no deep meaning.

In the summer of 1999 "Hello Nasty" WAS the best CD ever. Hench shared/shares (maybe still, not sure as we don't ride in the car together on the daily anymore) musical compulsion in that we'll just obsess over a cd or artist for like three months and not want to listen to anything else. There was a Weezer period (mostly Pinkerton), and of course a Ben Folds Five period, and a time for NOFX (as well as a general Fat Wreck fog). In more recent years I've fell into black holes named Kings of Leon, and definitely the White Stripes, M. Ward, and no matter how embarrasing, The Format.

**On some basketball bus trip in high school, my friend Kristy & I determined that yellow was the only worthwhile part of a candy-corn. We planned to launch our own candy-corn line called "Just tha yellas!" So, getting "just tha yellas" is taking only the best part of something. Dummies.

How? Why? Huh?

Spied these exciting diaramas while waiting for my breakfast ciabatta melt.

I think they should step up their drug screening. Seems like they're having too much fun on the night shift.

March 18, 2009

Twitter Brain - Unfiltered

I signed up for Twitter a few weeks ago and despite my best efforts not to like it - I do. It’s pretty much what you’re doing at the moment, with a limit on letters to keep your twitters from becoming a blog.

I have so much in my head lately I’m having a hard time blogging - so as an experiment I sticky noted all the random randomness I had in my head in my 60 minute lunch hour. No life goals, just things moving in and out as they come to me.

1:45 P.M. - 2:38 P.M. 4/18/09

I get a text from a friend asking why ducks usually stand with one foot in the puddle. I don’t know why. I don’t know why the seagulls do it either. My personal theory is that one of their feet is cold, so they tuck it away. A second theory is that due to the traffic and general demeanor of most humans here is that the other foot is not tucked away but has been lost in some sorta animal vs. 757 casualty. The first theory is better.

Carson Daly and Me

A guy just walked into Moes. He resembles Carson Daly, except he’s got to be taller than Carson Daly actually is. “Carson” looks for a seat, looks at my table, contemplates, then spots and subsequently seats himself in neighboring two chair situation a table over from me. He looks back, smiles again and I wonder if he’s staring at me because I’m staring at him or if I’m just staring at him because I feel eyes on ME. I decide I’ve stared too long, listen to the jazz song without words and then I contemplate my life as Carson Daly’s spouse. I decide it would be fun at first, but then decide sometime in my 40’s I’d get tired of him futzing with hair product. Meanwhile back at Moe’s, the real guy chomps happily along on his quesadilla unbeknownst of the crazy girl sitting across from him ponders her new imaginary-life-montage with Carson Daly.

Look who's talking now
The radio switches to “Jealous Guy” in Moe’s. I remember Mikey pulling the head off Julie’s stuffed penguin in that 80’s movie about the talking babies. At the same time, I wonder what Terry is saying at home when he’s making odd chirps and gestures. Tiesha has her own translations but I think mine are more realistic. Like at Halloween, when one of her coworkers with a newborn suggested she dress up as a clown. In my head, I did a Terry voice saying “you should dress up as a giant boob”.

In the car it’s the Mike and Bob show. Beastie Boys Sure Shot is on and I think of Carol Ann. The image is usually proceeded with her declaring Hello Nasty is the BEST cd ever. I think about how much I like the part where the song slows:

I Keep My Underwear Up With A Piece Of Elastic
I Use A Bullshit Mic That’s Made Out Of Plastic
To Send My Rhymes Out To All Nations
Like Ma Bell, I’ve Got The Ill Communications

I see a girl running through Larchmont and wish I was her for a minute with Beastie Boys in my ipod and not my car. Its beautiful today. The dogwoods have bloomed and then I start to cough a bit and realize subsequently why I don’t like spring.

96x Work advice
Back to Mike and Bob where they are talking about their coworker calling the lowest person on the work food chain to call in sick. Mike says something to the effect of “ya, don’t call the guy standing by the port ‘o pot to tell HIM you won’t be in the following day”. I laugh in my car and think this might possibly be one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a minute because that is logical.

Welcome back
Hit the CLJ parking lot after a 15 minute delay from the train. Tried unsuccessfully to secure some change for the soda machine and came up with 37 cents and a stick of Big Red. Pondered how cool it would be if soda machine offered barters (like gum) for Mt. Dew.

Back in the chair..blogging :)

March 13, 2009

Mouthy Broads

Two years ago, my mom hinted that she'd like to take up beading as a hobby. So, for her birthday, my sister & I loaded up on all the beading supplies we could find. On the next birthday, a full year later, when the beading supplies had gone completely untouched, my sister & I decided to take up beading---if nothing else to burn through all the stuff we'd bought. But we went off the rails somewhere. Our basement turned into a mini bead store in itself. We mostly made/make badge holders---a prettier alternative to those shoelace-looking thing with the faded/flaking screenprinted logos from which most people at the hospital hang their credentials from.

In my obsession with all things beads & beading; I pondered the idea of making my own beads. Glass-blowing, however, is way too expensive for an ancillary hobby. So I started playing with polymer clay. And I made some truly hideous beads. Frustrated at my sheer suckitude---I just wanted to make something that looked like something. So I made a little head & gave it some swirly hair. Tiny beaded eyes, and a big fat mouth, in my mind saying "what did you expect---michelangelo you ain't".

I made a few more just-heads, initially wanting to use the just-heads as focal-type beads in my badge holders. Then, one time, I had a bunch of orange clay mixed up & left over. It was too much for a just-head, so I gave it arms and a torso. I made some lovely pink spaghetti flowing hair with a clay extruder my brother gave me for Christmas. She was totally topless---but she was the first, if rudimentary, broad. Next, I tried making some
clothes, and it wasn't so hard. I was kind of in love with this idea. So I just started making more & more. And my basement suddenly had a few dozen very bossy-looking tiny residents.

In perusing Etsy, I found that lots of people like to play with clay. And yarn. And plaster. And beads. And every other kind of crafty type of thing---and people give them money for it. So I started a store. I've been in business for 2 days and I've sold two broads. Admittedly both to my brother, because he loves me, but he did pay actual money + shipping so he's a customer. Even if my Mouthy Broad empire never takes off, I'll probably still make them. If only so my sister will keep making up squawky voices for them & giving them ridiculous lives.

You can get to the store from the "mini-store" in the sidebar of this here blog. And if you don't like them, maybe look at some other stores. There's a lot of cool handmade stuff!

March 4, 2009

They say it's your birthday!

duh, na-na-nuh na nuh!

Larry doesn't read this blog at all. Sooooo I'm going to post pictures of him. 25 years young. I still remember him wondering around ODU trying to find G's apartment.
"Uh, is my sister here??" LOL