December 19, 2009
December 9, 2009
December 8, 2009
A fond farewell to the computer that has served(saved) Me for 6 years, someone prior to Me for 3, and a monitor that has shifted from designer to designer for 10! If there is a heaven for Macs - you'd be on the highest cloud.
Godspeed old friend - OEF's early blogs and *REDACTED* company thanks you.
Posted by Leslie at 9:34 PM
December 7, 2009
I survived the war against Christmas. Last year, I mounted a successful embargo against body lotions and re-gifted earl gray tea. This year I thought I'd bring you: Surviving the Holidays: Recession 2009. Since one of the things most of my loyal readers won't be getting is .......a raise.
What you'll need:
Sharpie & One blank sheet of paper
Take your sharpie and make a list of all the people you normally buy presents for. Below that start a list of all the people that buy presents for you.
Circle the names that are the same in both lists. The circles represent your list targets. You'll find your shopping lists will have shrunk exponentially when you realize who actually cared enough for you the year before to give you a material object.
Now, look at your list and make some further deductions.
Are you targets: couples? w/children? elderly? or age-confused-peter-pans?
If you target is a family - focus on the children only as Christmas is for kids and the "family" will most likely only give YOU one present. Scratch the adult parents off your list. The grandparents have already deemed the grand-baby more important - so it's okay for you to do the same to your friends.
A Sam's Club wholesale kinda holiday!
Tired of running around looking for that perfect sweater for that sorta friend in accounting? Buy something in bulk and distribute! This idea (copped from my grandma) is one for the ages. Who doesn't like soda? Buy 2 or 3 cases and wrap each can individually. I know I'd welcome a Pepsi Max with open arms, especially if it had a bow on it.
Christmas Cards are a numbers game.
Much like resumes, you have to send out 78 to get one back. If you want some cards you best be sending 'em out already to everyone on your Facebook roster.
Sometimes the cards come back with gift cards in them - so do NOT doubt the power of the card.
If you are not married or a member of a family - make up one by pluralizing your name.
I.E. - Merry Christmas from the Ostrichs.
It's the recipient's job to figure out which other Ostricheses there are besides you. It'll add a much needed mystery and confusion to an otherwise blase holiday card.
When did Bob get married? I didn't even know he was seeing anyone?? Is he talking about his mom??
Finally - if you forget someone or simply can't afford to shop. Remember you can always cite the recession as a reason. The ratio of un/underemployed workers is doubling and focus has been on saving and trending away from frivolous consumer products. If you have a job, why should you be any different?
It's not about presents - its about your presence.
Posted by Leslie at 7:47 PM