1. Good old fashioned F, Marry, Kill, OEF Edition: Jared Leto, Mark Ruffalo, Ryan Reynolds (Please explain your rationale)
I would F Jared Leto, Marry Ryan Reynolds, & Kill Mark Ruffalo.
F Jared Leto because he is Jordan Friggin Catalano.
Marry Ryan Reynolds cause I think he’s gonna age well.
Kill Mark Ruffalo because he is too short. I’m shallow.
2. What movie do you think is complete rubbish, even though everyone else in the world seems to think it's a masterpiece? And, of course, why?
Moulin Rouge. It was pretty to look at & all, but the story & use of contemporary songs were just too fruity.
3. You have your real job now, the one that makes money, but if you could have your dream career what would it be?
I’d like to be a lifestyle consultant for retardedly rich people that don’t have time to figure out how to be interesting or can’t keep up with culture. My job would consist of reading magazines, watching tv, listening to music, spending other people’s money on non-important crap. I dunno.
4. What are your top 3 casting choices for the role of YOU in the movie based on your life? How about your brother?
Number one choice to play me is Angelina Jolie cause movies are MAKE BELIEVE. Number two is Alia Shawcat aka Maeby on Arrested Development. She’s snarky. Number three is Annabeth Gish circa 1989. She’s got brown hair.
I’d get Billy Crudup to play my brother Butch, if he would put on like 25 pounds. As for big bro Brian, definitely Donnie Wahlberg. Playing the roll of non-existent brother Dennis would be a flaming sack of crap.
5. Song quote of the moment, for no reason whatsoever:
From the Magnetic Fields song, “All my little words”,
Now that you've made me want to die You tell me you're un-boyfriend-able And I could make you pay and pay But I could never make you stay
6. You are MC Hammer. You have to give jobs to all of your friends for your posse. Who gets what job & why? Include Non-OEFers if you like.
Hench is a proven Chief of Staff. Her main function is to recruit bomb boys to lounge all over my compound.
Leslie is Secretary of Shit-Talking. She’s great with making up a fake quote for someone that totally sums up the entirety of their personality. I.e. “Girl! I’m so glad you called, We really need to catch up, but grandma just made some turkey salad! Gotta go!”
7. What song(s) to you BELT out when you’re alone in the car?
“Skinned” by Blind Melon. Not sure why.
8. If you had to have an accent other than the one you have which would you like? It can’t be British.
I’d like to have whatever weird-ass accent that Little Edie Beale of Grey Gardens fame had. I know this isn’t fun for either of you seeing as you haven’t seen the movie, but I can’t help it. Rent it so you know what I’m talking about.
3 comments:
Angelina Jolie was MY CELEBRITY CHOICE..DAMMIT..who else do I look like? Bea Arthur?
I love my job! Secretary of Shit-talk.
I'm saddened I didn't originate such classic words as "Fucktard", "Craptastic", but I have given birth to the classic phrase "She's gonna ride that pony right into the lava pit."
As for the turkey sandwich, that was real! I didn't make it up. That damn sandwich was seemingly as important as a funeral, a childbirth, or a viral infection.
Moulin Rouge was a fruity movie, Tiesha just kept looking at me shamefacedly as we were watching it. And I was ashamed, I was finally allowed the blockbuster video pick and I DROPPED THE BALL.
In my movie, you are played by Christina Ricci, and Hench would be Kirsten Dunst.
I'm never going to be Indie, I never KNOW any of the songs that you pick, much less have access to them. Dammit, I'm going to have to just drive to the Sundance festival.
I thought it was a turkey SALAD?
I can totally relate with the dropped-ball feeling in regards to movies. I get these random artsy-type movies from Netflix & my sister insists on watching them with me, and even though I forewarn her that she WILL NOT like the movie, I still can't help but feel guilty during the movie for her lack of enjoyment. That's why I put "Hitch" on my cue, and we both ended up paying dearly for it. We didn't even make it 40 minutes into that crapfest.
Not to be a nitpicky media-nerd or anything, but Sundance is for movies. If you want a music festival, try South by Southwest (SXSW for the hip). Though that might lose all it's indie cred having the Real World kids work at it this season.
If you'll excuse me I'm gonna go work on my zine & take artisitic digital photos of a Wendy's wrapper I saw in the parking lot of my work & hope everyone understands that it's a commentary on the clash between capitalism & nature or some crap.
I'm still going to Sundance Dammit!
Turkey Salad can be placed on bread.
Movies that I warned Room-mates about.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Kill Bill.
Harry Potter 1,2,3, and 4
Lord of the Rings 1,2, and the 4 hour Return of the King.
Sin City
Any movie with Kate Beckinsale.
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