Is there life out there?

I miss summer break. The three-month never land between June and August in which you vanish from your regularly scheduled program. I’d been having this feeling of lacking any kind of newness to the point where I vowed I would not write one of my other electronic friends until I had something adventure worthy to tell her. Now we’re venturing into the six-month land and I’m starting to wonder if have to start a blog called our electronic funeral. Not that summer vacation is/was all glorious. There were some years when the boredom would reach such an apex I would drive hours to see the familiar faces of the regular year.

Thing was I never really wanted to leave school/work for summer break. When I would come back, I had a sense of direction about me. After missing people for 3 months I came back confident and aloof.

One of my old room-mates during a crisis situation woke up one day and said, “ I am leaving for 6 months. No one shall know where I am except my family and a few friends, I just need to leave.” She did.

I still don’t know where the hell she is.

We Have the Technology

In this day of blogs leading to a murderer’s arrest, and, well, electronic friendships , it’s easy for techno-savvy gals like me (us) to forget the way things USED to be done. Like, actually remembering phone numbers, or, GASP!, physically writing someone a note.

I had a rather cute reality check yesterday when the elder statesman of the department I worked in, who has worked at this radio station for 30+ years, asked “If someone needs something e-mailed to them…how’s that work?” As if e-mailing required a Shaman and some mouse toe-nails.

It reminds me of the time I was working in the Student Activiites & Leadership office, typing up purchase orders on a typewriter, when James Toscano of WODU (and my Media Law & Policy class) fame, came to bullshit with me, and queried for all to hear, “WHO, in 2001, uses a TYPEWRITER!?!” with such disdain it would make Simon Cowell blush.

Conspiracy Theory

In the months between February and April, I was receiving phone calls from an anonymous person. The number looked something akin to a calling card, for those of you that don’t recognize those-they say something like 123-456-7777, Nebraska. Some state where you have no relatives or friends and wonder who could possibly be calling you at such a time. These calls usually landed between 11:00 p.m. to as late as 2:00 a.m. with the person remaining on the line long enough to breath for a few minutes and listen to me fuss that they shouldn’t call if they couldn’t speak.

The odd thing was I’d always be the hanger upper. Mr (Ms) Anonymous would seemingly take whatever harsh reprimands I would dish out. In the time during the weird phone calls I started leaving house phone off the hook after 11. Whoever the calls were for; me or my room-mates - if they could not form conversation none of us needed to validate their efforts by answering phone.

Potential phone call theories emerged: a neighborhood stalker (wait this isn’t Wysteria lane), a wronged club guy, an estranged friend, a MIA father or even a crazy telemarketer. All of these became options.

It was making me paranoid to the extent that when I went running around my neighborhood I carried my mini pepper spray in pocket with piercing alarm key chain around neck. Which might not be in my best interest either, me falling on alarm and then spraying self in the face ALA Bridget Jones.

I doubt my phone person reads the blog now if ever, but my whole point is this if you are watching someone odds are they are/can watch you too.

I saw a little girl at ShopRite yesterday that had a real-life Pinnochio nose. This is Leslie's interpretation of my shock & awe. 

Design me a tattoo of pb and tell them I won't be in today.....

So I'm sitting on my new couch, high from the fumes of StainSafe, Cabbage Patch Kid flavor, and I'm bored. So I get a pen and I draw a small "pb" on my foot. And I like it. I do. Let's get a tattoo. I'll even go first if you want! Although first I might try it with a Sharpie so I can see how it looks for a few days. How long does Sharpie ink stain your skin for? If you, you know, shower on a regular basis. C'mon, I know you have passed out drunk, with your shoes on and your wallet in your pocket before. Just kidding..... maybe I should ask Ian!

Jebus, bless this mess!

So yeah, I've been tinkering with the look of Our Electronic Friendship. I found the picture of the little girls up there somewheres and Ms. Leslie Paxton, being the artsy-fartsy type that she is, whipped up a banner. I know it looks funky right now, but it's just temporary. On Monday we'll get one with the proper dimensions, etc. and I might figure out how to make this look right.

Thoughts so far though?

DarthL

DarthL
Originally uploaded by Littlebag.

It's Darth Me! (Well, that or Darth Vader and Linda Blair's love-child). I seen Episode III last night and it was great. Although I can't help thinking that the whole thing coulda been avoided had he just friggin asked Natalie Portman how she felt. Sadly my theater was normal; no wookies, no sith, and no jedi. Only legions of fangirls (and boys) looking to take a break from reality for a couple of hours. I can't wait til HP4!

Is it just me or does this mint-green koala seem a little...EVIL? 

One for the Cheetos, Two for the Red Bull…

Last night my TiVo tried to save my sanity. You see, when I moved some months back, the local cable channel lineup shifted ever so slightly. Only a handful of channels were different, and none that I would ever TiVo anything on, so I never bothered to re-program.

Enter the Britney & Cletus Show.

I figured I’d have TiVo grab it, and see what all this shakily-shot kerfluffle was about. But alas! When I went to watch it, I got multi-colored squiggly lines. Turns out, UPN was one of the channels different in my new domicile. As it was only halfway through the show, I handily found the correct channel and thus began the process of my brain rapidly liquefying.

You see, my TiVo, being the amazing machine that it is, was not simply mixed up on the channel front, it KNEW that I could not possibly want to watch this show. My TiVo knows that I am a woman of sophisticated tastes, a woman who enjoys high art, and one who basks daily in only the most intellectually stimulating of programs. Thus my Days of Our Lives & Best Week Ever season passes.

Rather than longwindedly expounding upon everything that struck me about this show, here’s my two main observations:

1) Britney seems to be suffering from some off-shoot of whatever fucked-up mental condition Michael Jackson has. She seriously has the emotional IQ of a 13 year old girl.

2) Kevin Federline looks like he could use a good scrubbin’. In one scene he’s in the shower and he STILL looks dirty.

Acts of Self Sabotauge

So I went through a mini depression this morning while doing my budget. Apparently I’m spending $800 a year on Mt. Dew and close to $200 on Bugles. Which I have learned are both high in sugar (MD) and extremely high in Fat (70g’s). Basically that roles out to 1k spent on fat and tooth decay. If that math is true for the entirety of my lifespan I’ve spent at least 24k on Junk food. I’m eating someone’s yearly salary.

I’ve been added to the “missing persons” list at the Y. If someone “finds me” and brings me back they will be awarded a free month of exercise. So if any of you guys want a free month (that are already members) come get me! But it won’t be easy, it’s pretty outside and I’m lazy!!

Rather than doing something to enrich my life in some manner:
I watched an entire episode of Desperate Housewives last night. It’s maybe the second one I’ve seen since the show started, so I’m really clueless as to what’s going on. Although, it’s also the first time I’ve watched ABC since the wonderful world of Disney showed Mr. Boogity so it’s a little weird to watch a show there that features boners at a put put golf course. Grays Anatomy isn’t bad either. The doctors there aren’t ER doctors. I don’t think they care about the patients (at all) as much as they care about their hair stylings. Next weeks episode is about an STD outbreak that has spread AMONGST THE DOCTORS. You won’t be seeing me at that hospital.

Lofty Goals

So, an “S” shaped poo is a sign of a healthy lifestyle. However, the plop-plop bomb, liqui-poo and sticky-poo are signs of poor dietary habits according to a segment on OPRAH last week. What surprised me is that someone in the audience was grossed out that she or anybody for that matter even looked. How can you not look? A plop and run?

So the question I'm posing is what food achieves the S-Curve Poo?
And DO YOU LOOK?

Office Birthday Faux Pas

Whenever I see a sign, or hear of a rule espousing a restriction on a ridiculous activity, I sort of smile. Like, how on the fence of the tennis courts outside of the Fieldhouse at ODU there was a sign strictly prohibiting the use of profanity on or around the tennis courts. A sign like that begs the question; "Just who was cursing up a storm on or around the tennis courts and to what extent did they go to for a sign to be ordered?" Was it some strung-out tennis player in danger of losing a scholarship, having totally blown a match?

While I've always enjoyed this occurence, I found out today that when it comes to office politics, it can be a real pain in the balls.

I was asked to put out a memo about a birthday party we're having tommorow morning for one of my co-workers, we'll call her "Meth". I asked before sending out said memo if it was anyone elses' birthday, and was told, "No, just Meth". Voila, memo! Complete with clipart cake. Cheery, right? Morale booster? You'd think so.

After I'd actually printed out all the happy birthday cake memos and hand delivered them to everyone, I was, as my mommy likes to say, "called on the carpet". I was told to take back all the memos I'd already distributed, and to produce a new memo. Rather than go into that conversation, I'll just let you read the second memo (which came with the above pic):

To: Staff

From: Carol Ann

Re: May Birthdays


As an amendment to the previous memo about tomorrow’s birthday celebration at 10am in the conference room, I want to make it clear that the party is not just for Meth, Meth just happens to be the only person with a birthday in May. Hence, my blunder in saying the party was just for her. It is but it isn’t.

Thanks for your patience, and please come anyway!

In the hard-rock, hair-band words of Vince Neil.....I'm on my way, home sweet home!

I finally convinced Baxter (with the help of someone whose fake intials are GH)that we need to move back home.

Well, with the caveat that we would stay here while Bax gets his master's because the program is only offered here. Normally, I would just think this is a stalling measure, but he really wants the degree, and he is even studying for the GRE. Plus, he even admitted today, on his own, that this place is not the place where we can afford to live for the rest of our lives. It sucks that it will be so long before we can move back, but at least I have it to look forward to!

We have settled on Virginia Beach. Countdown to 2008.

Shiny New Car

Shiny New Car, originally uploaded by allarounddope.

Ding-dong the Fuckus is dead! My sister and I traded our cars in the other day and both got Scions, in different colors. I know it's not THAT much different than my last car, but it DOES have 4 doors & power windows. Yay!