tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89142662024-03-14T04:47:28.906-04:00Our Electronic FriendshipUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger513125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-73588412950755115182024-01-30T15:45:00.005-05:002024-01-30T15:45:46.663-05:00 Leslie Journal: January 70th 2024<p><b data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 1rem; word-spacing: 1px;">Hair Status: </b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 1rem; word-spacing: 1px;">Probably chose the worst life period to become a blonde, I have yet to experience the "fun" lifestyle I was sold on. It does however cover the white hair that sprouted like Rogue on the X-Men after trauma 2023. The undercut growing out is now turning into a weird "duck butt" shape. Luckily, social life is in hibernation, so I"ll endure a variety of hats and accessories. </span></p><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; word-spacing: 1px;"><br /></div><div data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 1rem; word-spacing: 1px;"><b data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Weight:</b> perpetually fighting tostitos and sour patch kids for custody of my work slacks.</div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; word-spacing: 1px;"><br /></div><div data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 1rem; word-spacing: 1px;"><b data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Anxiety Level: </b>Asleep by 7:00pm in full work apparel on the recliner with a cat on my lap. If I'm asleep I'm not drunk (shrug). </div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; word-spacing: 1px;"><br /></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; word-spacing: 1px;"><b data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Goals:</b></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16px; word-spacing: 1px;"><ul><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Turn multi-price from a pile of hair and dust bunnies into a full blown course.</li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">7 Zone Managers - 5 question reels</li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Redesign leadership framework workbook </li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">ASK QUESTIONS</li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Leslie Reel!</li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Commit to After Effects or Premiere</li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Find a doctor! </li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Drink water</li><li data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">Try not to cry from happiness at work (or behave like scarred refugee)</li></ul><div><b data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="font-size: 1rem;">The Good Stuff: </b></div></div><div data-originalcomputedfontsize="16" data-removefontsize="true" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(49, 49, 49); color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 1rem; word-spacing: 1px;">15 worry free days of PTO where the only thing I'm required to do is add to my Outlook calendar and email my boss. Imagine that. Health insurance on March 1st! Weirdly excited about renting a storage unit to reclaim some of the apartment. Target and Aldi within walking distance of work. </div>Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-90744310263398757352024-01-26T14:33:00.004-05:002024-01-26T14:50:25.089-05:00Everyone has a plan....<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnBEhr7nG0ElZhuMXSWIgLPUn5oI_9jsRvdp3tpmZgYwdWE_UspGHaY0n2PNFBZXfhJ7WB0qAPAN9FyT2RVBRAYA6tvo-XEwaMPAkekHM6UPEHXxwW2BiUCdxOcrnPxTu2sILnG2uX7Jc_CYCrzMT0OPrH_oFd0gYehG-qxVw5Jdmgj1Hf_v937Q/s600/mike-tyson-hated-punch-out%20copy.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnBEhr7nG0ElZhuMXSWIgLPUn5oI_9jsRvdp3tpmZgYwdWE_UspGHaY0n2PNFBZXfhJ7WB0qAPAN9FyT2RVBRAYA6tvo-XEwaMPAkekHM6UPEHXxwW2BiUCdxOcrnPxTu2sILnG2uX7Jc_CYCrzMT0OPrH_oFd0gYehG-qxVw5Jdmgj1Hf_v937Q/s16000/mike-tyson-hated-punch-out%20copy.jpg" /></a></div><br />...Until they get punched in the face - Mike Tyson<p></p><p>....Until: their Mom gets kicked out of her partner's home of 25 years. Or your brother's new wife effectively cancels you. Or your job decides on steep reductions in force, in which you are a part of immediately preceding the holidays. Or if you get sick without health insurance. Or your cat gets diabetes. Or your car seemingly sprouts a new and rare issue each week. Or anything in 2023. </p><p>- Leslie Paxton</p>Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-9709548332513623232018-08-25T07:13:00.003-04:002018-08-25T07:20:05.139-04:00Leslie Journal: THIS IS FINE. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zKUIkRbSJOE/W4E42krj2iI/AAAAAAABaXY/xFhp3jKdkmMgS0Ps3ZC6aL_HAE9yNu-DgCLcBGAs/s1600/05onfire1_xp-articleLarge-v2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="284" data-original-width="600" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zKUIkRbSJOE/W4E42krj2iI/AAAAAAABaXY/xFhp3jKdkmMgS0Ps3ZC6aL_HAE9yNu-DgCLcBGAs/s1600/05onfire1_xp-articleLarge-v2.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is fine. I am fine. Everything is.....fine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm standing in the middle of Dave and Busters. LJ is dancing because he's defeated me for the 8th time at Long Shot (the basketball game). Twice in his exuberance, he's thrown the ball so hard that it has bounced out of the cage and nearly pegged other distracted adults. I haven't taken a day off since MAY, but this is what days off are for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I wonder how long D&B has been there? Shit, when was the last time I was in the mall? A Mall? I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. My arms are sore for 45 minutes of rampant speeding games.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then I look at my phone...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm scaring you {constant reader or future Leslie}. Everyone in my timeline is actually fine. Fine = alive. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not going to hurt myself. I do <b>want </b>to cancel the remainder of August and sleep until October, but maybe not dealing with things is the lesson that this revolution around the planet couldn't teach, and this new rotation will. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Auntie?....Auntie. AUNTIE!!!", LJ says. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I realize he's been talking to me for a minute or so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Are you having a stroke, are you okay??" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"No, I got an email that's a bit <i><b>mean</b></i> -- and I don't understand. You pick another game and let's do THAT until I can fix my face."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Meanwhile in the phantom zone of my brain, my thoughts are spinning the solutions like a slot machine -- but no matches. Cherry, Cherry, Turd. Turd, Turd, Banana. Turd, turd, turd. JACKPOT = YOU ARE AN IDIOT. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How do parents do this? How do you keep smiling when everything is on FIRE? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Earth to Auntie...........come in? I don't know how you beat me at Mario Kart. But you WON."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I literally forgot I was racing in a video game. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"That message you got must have been bad. Want me to read it?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I do, but at the same time I'd rather set my phone (myself) on fire. Where can I get some napalm? I instead take him to the food court and consult with his Mom via telephone while he's ordering food. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tiesha says exactly the right thing, but I start to cry and that <i><b>can't happen</b></i> in the middle of the mall with LJ standing in line for a Cinnabon, so I wrap that call up and promise to get my shit together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don't think he can handle me crying, anymore than I could handle the adults in my life crying at the same age. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yell at me, send me to my room - ground me -- but please Mom don't cry. Don't disappear into the blank stare zone. We will figure this out. I'll wash dishes? Look I mowed the grass? Larry and I will get along! Just don't ever...<b><i>cry.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">LJ convinces me to take him to Chilli's for a "to-go' meal and then we actually sit down and eat. I'm relieved I do sit down and then I realize I haven't eaten ALL DAY. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The internet would have you believe that diet and exercise is the way to weight loss, but that is not true. It's concentrated laser-focused <u>stress.</u> I guarantee you if someone from your inner circle that you care about in some way or another lobs some low surprise jab at you or knife from behind you will lose all interest in food. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well... WHAT HAPPENED you say?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's just say I was excised like a tumor from a long term project I cared about a great deal, because I asked for additional time. I won't bore you with my fall itinerary, but it was <u>desperately needed</u> ask.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>It's the following day,</i> and this entry is calming me as I type. LJ is here now (out cold ..it's 6:54 am) but before I fell asleep -- he jumped on my bed at midnight and told me that he loved me and yelled Happy Birthday! At the same time - his mom, my very best friend called and said the same thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Two other texts at midnight from travelling friends -- and then Lunesta Mom (very different than waking mom) : gt the pics lv u..I'm sleepy...sleeping... 89nmquio *heart* heart..YOUR MOM. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's my Birthday. (Did you hear that in Jeff Goldblum's Grandmaster voice?) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hope you constant friends stay along for the ride. I'm making some changes this year and I'll understand if you quietly want to get off this friendship train. Just exit out the party while I'm distracted with the chips and salsa. No need to launch friend nuclear missiles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not sure I know what to do yet, but I'll share the solution when I do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Worrying means you suffer twice. </span></div>
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-23137541648518450012017-04-13T10:27:00.001-04:002017-04-13T10:27:07.152-04:00Leslie Journal - The Lost Files: May 2016 <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes my blog entries fall into the drafts folder of gmail and never see the sun. Maybe they are meant to be there, who knows - but I like reflection. So I bring you - the lost <strike>tapes </strike>blogs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May 2016ish</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>On writing:</b> I thought this would be therapeutic, but my eyes
hurt …push through. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Purple Rain:</b> It’s literally rained every day since Prince
died. Coincidence? I think not. Even Mother Nature is sad. Although
admittedly, on the day he passed I was on my way to Hogwarts School of
Wizarding and Witchcraft and literally incapable of sadness. Feel sad about something? Launch yourself at
60 miles an hour up a spinning roller coaster and try not to vomit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Napalm Emails:</b> I was literally a button click away from
closing the book on a nearly 20 year old friendship. I didn’t push send. It seems we’ll survive. I don’t know how much longer I can keep
feeling like the dog that shit in the house in regards to this particular
pal. I’m a person with ideas and
feelings, I don’t remember signing anything in the contract that says we have
to be in lockstep agreement about everything or we’re just not friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Amateur Craft Beer Serving:</b> "Here try my mediocre Belgium
wheats.... No, it’s not an IPA. It is an IPA.
I like it, hints of chocolate. Here we
have yellow beer, brown beer, and beer so brown it’s black."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Internet diet:</b> I’m going on one. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-25782794426603031792017-04-06T18:36:00.000-04:002017-04-06T18:36:23.988-04:00Leslie Journal - 4.6.2017<b style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Hair Status: </b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Back in brown town.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;" /><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;" /><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Weight</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">: Undetermined. Skirt season has returned and all pants are banished until otherwise noted.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;" /><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Goals:</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span><br />
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Finish VAB I courseware</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Finish VAB II courseware</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Finish Mymic website</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Finish Leslie website</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Squeeze in life between items 1-4. </li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Try to explain why LOTR: the Two Towers is the <u>worst</u> of the movies because of all the walking.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Remember my value. </li>
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<b>Anxiety Level: </b>3 <strike><i>bowls</i>.</strike>.err glasses of wine per evening</div>
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<b>The good stuff: </b>Mom called just to say she loved me on her lunch break today, yes...like the Stevie Wonder song. LJ and Teri have volunteered to do "multimedia" at church, so they could help ME with my work. Waylon is walking now, and also helping his mom clean their kitchen with his tongue. Busch Gardens is open. AND my sports team (beach Wiffle Ball) WON a game. Bey and Marcie are the best fur kids ever. </div>
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-56663870375192705682017-03-07T17:35:00.001-05:002017-03-07T17:35:35.709-05:00Leslie Journal - 3.7.2017<b>Hair Status:</b> Forcefully rejecting red highlights as if they were an invading virus. <br /><br /><b>Weight</b>: 2lbs down, but the real accomplishment here is not eating an entire bag of Tostitos Lime, despite being very aware it was in the cabinet...onward and upward<br /><br /><b>Goals:</b> <div>
<ul>
<li>Look super bomb for Elaine's wedding in two weeks</li>
<li>call my Aunt who insists on telephonic communication</li>
<li>manage 3 social outings without flaking this month</li>
<li>defeat fitbit nemesis (even if it means running to Canada)</li>
<li>remain a resurgent force of light and strength despite repeated attacks by work drama llama</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<b>Anxiety Level: </b>Somewhere between an Annie Lennox or Radiohead song..<br /><br /><b>Thoughts on duality:</b> If you let your brain drive the car that is "you" for too long, eventually your heart will hijack the steering wheel and take over that shit (or vice versa). YOLO. </div>
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-61486480185713467382017-02-21T05:05:00.002-05:002017-03-07T14:24:38.647-05:00Leslie Journal - 2.21.17<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Social Media:</b> A wise woman once said, "Fuck this shit". She lived happily ever after. </span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(stolen from awesome Connie's awesome Insta).</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Hair Status:</b> Will in the 'Upside Down'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Weight: </b>Outta control (for real - I can't stop eating my emotions). I seriously posted a large pizza the other day and ate every f*cking bite of that thing. I'd dare not mention how I smashed the Harris Teeter 7-Layer Bean dip. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not going to post daily sweat pictures, but I'm back on the paid for version of Weight Watchers today. Just as before - you won't get totals, judgement, or extreme fitness - just a little more mustard and a little less mayo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Promises, promises: </b></span><br />
<br />
I WILL NOT<br /><ul>
<li>Eat out of boredom</li>
<li>Emotional Eat</li>
<li>Eat after 8</li>
<li>Drink Calories</li>
<li>Eat Candy/Fried Food</li>
<li>Skip Breakfast</li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Goals: </b>This one's for you favorite jeans.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hopefully back on in 2 weeks. It's not time for you to retire yet.</span><br />
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<br />Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-35319733419879410872017-02-03T06:01:00.000-05:002017-02-03T06:02:27.328-05:00Leslie Journal - Feb. 3, 2017<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Hair Status:</b> Pink Lob</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Weight:</b> All about that bass, no treble</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>On pants:</b> The struggle is real, but I am mighty. Also - it's cold AF, so I will abide. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(Is this a haiku?) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Social Media: </b>Out in the wilderness with Hillary, Barack and the other Democrats. (At least I have a cool p*hat to keep my head warm.) Currently only reading shares from liberal baes and instagram animal posts. Still following the cast of Pretty Little Liars to keep up with fashion. Keeping a mental list of conservative friends like Arya Stark. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Democrats are totally the Stark's right now and America is Winterfell. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Ridin Dirty: </b>Sally Pontiac at 11 years old still runs off carefully timed voodoo rituals, prayers, and love. Please ol' girl - I need you just a little longer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Battle Royale with Cheese: </b>Management is NOT what I thought.<b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Like my man Puff says: Mo' money, mo problems." - Notorious B.I.G.</span><br />
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-22186832693281104182015-02-08T09:14:00.000-05:002015-02-08T09:14:05.681-05:00Leslie Journal: Feb 8, 2015<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Diet Mt. Dews Consumed:</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 as of 8:51am, but several chilled and at the ready, along with Keurig coffee to </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">tackle the day</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Weight: </b>More than Zoey Deschanel, but less than Meghan Trainor</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Bangs:</b> Inactive</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Time passed since Mom visit:</b> 6 months and counting</span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>A Cry for Help:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The same filling that has already been filled three times is out yet again. I can’t help but think this tooth just wants to be out of my mouth. I know teeth have feelings, but could a tooth be suicidal? </span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>On pants:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They are all entirely too snug, and I want to live in yoga apparel. Too bad I hate stretching. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hate pants. </span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Ridin’ Dirty:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sally Pontiac needs so much routine maintenance it’s not even funny. If only cars could be held together by love and intense prayer. </span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Battle Royale (with Cheese):</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Major shakeups on the job front are presenting opportunities to move a new direction or stay the course. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh Captain, my captain I wish I had more time.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do you convince someone with one foot out the door to stay? Can you?</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is it time to grow up? Do we ever have job security???? </span>Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-13042301122513724942014-05-27T11:54:00.004-04:002014-05-27T11:54:55.984-04:00For Ian...<em>but mostly, really and truly for Judy</em><br /><br /> <strong>10 things I hate about Dogs.</strong><br /><br />I hate the way you bark and bark.<br />I hate that you make a mess when you eat your food.<br /><br />I hate early morning walks in the park....<br />and I really hate picking up your poop. <br /><br />I hate carrying your short legs up the stairs.<br />I hate driving you around.<br />I really hate cleaning the sofa and lint rolling the hairs<br /><br />I hate it when you make me laugh, and this strange new feeling I’ve found<br /><br />Mostly I hate that I don’t hate you...<br />and that <strong><em>we don’t abandon (fur) family whether bark or purr or meow.</em></strong> <br />
<br />
<br />
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-11766884226264630822014-02-27T13:59:00.002-05:002014-02-27T15:37:23.376-05:00Jury Duty<span class="caption" data-ft="{"tn":"L"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>Monday Feb, 24</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After <strong><u>not</u></strong> being called for 12 years, I finally got the recording that my group WOULD report for duty. I nearly forgot, was en-route to work and had to turn the car around, but I made it, just in time to watch 8 episodes of Property Virgins on HGTV (score). I won't go into a long narrative about the actual crime myself - <em>that's all below if you want to follow along (I'm happy to let the news media help out there). </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are my findings:</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>1. Out of a pool of 50, at least 30 of the Norfolk residents had in some way been affected by gun violence, myself included.</strong> The question was broad and unbiased - just merely a show of hands if you or a family member, friend, or acquaintance had been in some way affected. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: black;">2. Jury of "your peers" is really not at all a jury of your actual peers.</span></strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Really it's a group of 13 humans with: modge-podge availability; that do not watch the news; and are not stricken with diabetes, IBS, or just bullshit in general. The latter being the most common ailment. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>3. You cannot leave the courtroom to pee (or poo) until court scheduled recess.</strong> Gross, but legit concern. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>4. Our lifestyle, backstories, and upbringings are as wildly unique and different as snowflakes. </strong></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can see where Dick Wolf (l&o) draws his endless piles of source material. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>5. You can go to court and watch almost any trial if you are interested in the judicial process.</strong> The Judge implied and encouraged it! You cannot bring your smartphone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>So here's the case I would have sat on had I been chosen:</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<a href="http://hamptonroads.com/2012/08/linecutting-fight-prompted-fatal-rite-aid-shooting" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0066cc;">http://hamptonroads.com/2012/</span><wbr></wbr><span style="color: #0066cc;">08/linecutting-fight-prompted-</span><wbr></wbr><span style="color: #0066cc;">fatal-rite-aid-shooting</span></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and here</span><br />
<a href="http://www.wvec.com/my-city/norfolk/Murder-suspect-accused-victim-of-cutting-in-line-at-Norfolk-Rite-Aid-166547396.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0066cc;">http://www.wvec.com/my-city/</span><wbr></wbr><span style="color: #0066cc;">norfolk/Murder-suspect-</span><wbr></wbr><span style="color: #0066cc;">accused-victim-of-cutting-in-</span><wbr></wbr><span style="color: #0066cc;">line-at-Norfolk-Rite-Aid-</span><wbr></wbr><span style="color: #0066cc;">166547396.html</span></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and video of the actual event:</span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"L"}"></span></span></span><br />
<div id="id_530f825b077de8888484604">
<span class="caption" data-ft="{"tn":"L"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span data-ft="{"tn":"L"}"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<span class="caption" data-ft="{"tn":"L"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span data-ft="{"tn":"L"}">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">RAW VIDEO: Jurors shown surveillance video of shooting inside Norfolk pharmacy. ...</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Jurors are deliberating and are expected to decide whether he is guilty of manslaughter<br /><br /> WARNING: 13News Now has decided to show only the confrontation that led up to the shooting --> </span><a href="http://bit.ly/1jB66A3" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0066cc; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://bit.ly/1jB66A3</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and the end?....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<a href="http://hamptonroads.com/2014/02/judge-declares-mistrial-norfolk-rite-aid-slaying"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://hamptonroads.com/2014/02/judge-declares-mistrial-norfolk-rite-aid-slaying</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>My opinion - totally preventable at any point in the storyline.</em></strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I imagine myself just saying - 'scuse me were you in line? or even just seeing someone agitated pacing around and maybe thinking </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I'd come back later. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you remove the guns - maybe this is just a mismatched tussle with two douchebags arguing and knocking over some iron supplements. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What say ye OEF? </span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span>Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-85892720367185386712014-01-21T10:57:00.000-05:002014-01-21T10:57:30.558-05:00Stuff - The 10 year anniversary edition.It's hard to believe our little writing endeavor is 10 years old. In honor of our neglected masterpiece, I asked the girls to revisit this list from 2004 (without looking at the old one) in between editing, disease-cataloging, and faux-info-meme making. Folks grab your Snuggies, we're list writin' and revisiting.<br />
<br />
<em><span style="color: #0b5394;">Leslie's stuff = blue</span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #38761d;">Hench's Stuff = green</span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #351c75;">G's Stuff = purple (note: G is still composing her portion at the time of posting). </span></em><br />
<br />
<strong>1.Word(s) that you really really hate:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Please + advise (when used in combination together) and fupa (which I didn't even know existed until my brother posted on facebook, thanks Larry).</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Spunk, moist, headache</span><br />
<br />
<strong>2. One place you would like to visit before you are too old to travel:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Vancouver and Glacier National Park.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Tahiti</span><br />
<br />
<strong>3. One thing you believed in college that no longer holds true:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">The career that makes you professionally happiest, may not necessarily be the one that affords you happiness after work. What I'm saying is: live your dreams, but make sure you can afford them.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">That life stretches out before me with infinite time to do the things I want to do</span><br />
<br />
<strong>4. One sound that will always make you smile sadly yet fondly:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I live near an airport and have for sometime, I like the way my mom claps her hands and runs to the door to see which plane is flying over.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">The sound of a classic car</span><br />
<br />
<strong>5. Word(s) that you really love:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Flotsam and Jetsam, genius, malevolent, zany, and tuna.</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Summer, evening, grace, ocean</span><br />
<br />
<strong>6. One book that you would recommend to anyone, anywhere:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Bossy Pants by Tina Fey.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">The Given Day, by Dennis Lehane</span><br />
<br />
<strong>7. One movie that was actually better than the book:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I'm definitely going with the Hunger Games on this one. I know, I'm risking being tossed in the stockade and having fish thrown at me by Muppets.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Still have to go with The Last of the Mohicans</span><br />
<br />
<strong>8. One person who has shocked you by having a child out of wedlock:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">None really - maybe one acquaintance on Instagram, but she was always a gypsy, so again not really that shocking.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Well, hmm...Jessica Simpson?</span><br />
<br />
<strong>9. One person you think lives in a bad neighborhood so they can feel superior:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I have friends that live in Riverview (Norfolk) although I think it's because they like the zoo.</span> <br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Nobody now</span><br />
<br />
<strong>10. Song quote that expresses your feelings on current events or life in general:</strong> <br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I have a whole playlist of songs that are helping me survive "mid-thirties". <br />But in particular: <em><strong>Arcade Fire, The Suburbs (song)</strong></em> </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">So can you understand</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Why I want a daughter while I'm still young?</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I wanna hold her hand</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">And show her some beauty</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Before this damage is done - Arcade Fire</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">"Feeling sick and helpless, lost the compass where 'self' is. I know what I gotta do, and I can't help it." -Macklemore</span> </blockquote>
<strong>11. Actor/actress/celebrity that you feel irrational disdain for and why:</strong><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Not a big fan of Woody Allen - I don't get the appeal at all. Not my bag. <br />And the cast of Two and Half Men - no idea why that show is still on and the salaries are so high.<br />Sometimes I'm weirded out by Scarlet Johansen.</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #38761d;">Most of my disdain is rational....maybe Blake Lively? She's a pretty rotten actress. Is she still a celebrity?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-63122521795771497482013-10-31T12:13:00.003-04:002013-10-31T12:14:03.857-04:00Things...My favorite blogger stopped writing some time in May. Just threw down the THANK YOU - and the peace sign and headed out into the world, to live as before - the talented anonymous. I'm not hatin'..and it seems fair that she would disappear into the same microcosm I found her on...which subsequently was the result of me looking for "wines that taste like fruit juice" on a Google search.<br />
<br />
It kind of reminded of Liz Lemon going to find her future best friend in the ladies room of Barnes & Noble. I'm all over the place today - but this is going somewhere better than the salad entries I promise! <br />
<br />
I had two conversations with people whose opinion of me mattered, or that I thought mattered - and when I went to read my favorite blog entry (aka: Leslie's silent life counseling) I found it gone. <br />
<br />
My wino is gone, I have to read something else and I will HAVE to make a change. <br />
So today, while aimlessly meandering around Facebook, and trying to find my way over, under, and through these too personal conversations. I found this one.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Change is like spring cleaning. There are a lot of things that you need to throw away so that your closet is clear enough to add space for new things. <br />
<br />
What is one thing that you have to get rid of in your life closet in order to allow for space? <br />
<br />
Whether it's people, places, things or weight, the goal is a HAPPY you for the future<br />
<br />
from Shaun T <br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(the crazy exercise man that yells at you while doing complex jumping jacks). </span></em></blockquote>
<br />
So I'll take this part from my departed favorite blogger - <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"You are you. Glorious mother-fucking you." </blockquote>
<br />
<br />
and remember there are things besides weight that I need to lose.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Change is <strong>good.</strong></span><span class="hP" tabindex="-1"></span><br />
<span class="hP" style="font-size: large;" tabindex="-1"></span><br />Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-6000258506018331512013-10-07T22:33:00.000-04:002013-10-23T12:28:54.829-04:00Day 2I had my 2nd of 7 cold emotionless lunches (lettuce).<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">+</span>s </b><br />
<ol>
<li>healthy</li>
<li>not wasteful</li>
<li>cheap</li>
</ol>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">-</span>s </b><br />
<ol>
<li>cold (like today's weather)</li>
<li>soggy (also like today's weather)</li>
<li>rewarded self with not healthy mcdonald fries (and beer later)</li>
<li>was scolded for non-related over consumption of diet mt. dew....again</li>
</ol>
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<b>Notes to self:</b></div>
<div>
The Wendy's by your job is closed for remodeling, don't even try it.</div>
<div>
Beachbody workouts are different than running. </div>
<div>
I have no idea how to cook ahi tuna effectively.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Thoughts moving forward:</b></div>
<div>
Maybe dumping pizza is not the answer. Is it as easy as just not eating <em><strong>an entire</strong></em> pizza? </div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-32948008415629257442013-10-06T19:01:00.002-04:002013-10-06T19:18:53.432-04:00Lettuce forget the past! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BDBm1n9AQt4/UlHvQKZy14I/AAAAAAAAC38/I9xz4eKugpw/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BDBm1n9AQt4/UlHvQKZy14I/AAAAAAAAC38/I9xz4eKugpw/s320/photo.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial;">On October 4th, after throwing away an innocent yet forgotten unopened bag of lettuce, Leslie Paxton vowed never to let produce go to waste again. On October 5th, her best friend entrusted her with the world's largest bowl of fresh salad. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial;">Over the course of this week, I'm going to eat all this lettuce and keep my promise to the universe. For health, for savings, for dignity.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial;">This is the 2nd week of October 2013 - Humble readers - THIS is 7 days of salad. </span>Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-12499011207830411692013-06-17T13:54:00.000-04:002013-06-17T13:54:00.005-04:00Let's tune out while turning up the radio...<div>
</div>
I quietly deleted Facebook <strong>from my phone</strong> a few months ago, I'll be deleting it <strong>from my Ipad</strong> by weeks end. I cannot deactivate my account at this point because it's now literally a part of my job and randomly (at times) it can be enjoyable - but only in that way a college party is fun only once, but the magic is just not there if you go two nights in a row. (G, do you remember our theorem on isolated party magic?)<br /> <br />I can't advocate a Facebook diet for everybody but I can tell you I'm feeling a little better everyday. <br />I watched the fireworks at Harborfest with my eyeballs. I took pictures of my godsons (and my cat!) with my real camera. But my favorite thing was that - I was able to have a conversation with a friend, without already knowing everything. And all they knew about me was how many miles I'd ran due to Runkeeper <em>(I've been running since 1998 btw).</em> <br /> <br />I did not see the parties I wasn't invited too, the unsavory political opinions, or the countless parade of "selfies" from people that should have better things to do than take pictures of themselves. <br /> <br />If you need me, I'm in the same place. If you're worried, concerned, or miss me the number is still the same. If you want to chat all digital like - the green dot is on 50% of the day. If you want Chilli's, or No Frill - I'm your girl and if you want to run then say no more - my shoes are in the car. <br /> <br />:) <br /> Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-57768281688880698982013-04-19T21:58:00.001-04:002013-04-19T21:58:47.742-04:00Playing is for the turds. I mean birds.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have a confession.<br />
<br />
I hate playing. I hate playing princesses. I hate playing dinosaurs. I hate playing trains. I hate playing tea party, and animals, and I hate playing grocery store with the cash register, although I hate that game a little less than others. I hate playing in the bathtub. I hate playing while we get ready for bed.<br />
<br />
I dread hearing "Mommy, do you want to play with me?" in that sweet little voice. I feel so utterly guilty that I hate playing. I think I hide it well most of the time, when I force myself to say "Yes, of course I want to play with you!" I don't, I really don't! But I know I have to, and I know one day I'll be sad that Kai doesn't even want to look at me, let alone spend any time playing with me.<br />
<br />
I know of one person that absolutely refuses to play with their kid. Just flat out won't play, tells him "Go play on your own." That feels too cruel. Kai does need to learn to play on her own, but not that way. I feel like that would crush a kid's spirit. I don't know this person firsthand; I wish I did so I could know if they are telling the truth, and if so, how do they live with the guilt when they see the disappointment on their kid's face??<br />
<br />
My mom said I never liked to play by myself when I was a kid. Great. But at least I had a sibling. Kai only has her parents. And right now, she only wants me to play with her.<br />
<br />
I come from a long line of sticks in the mud, which is why I think I hate playing. I didn't hate playing as a kid, but abhor it as an adult. But like much of my life now, my time is no longer my own. <br />
<br />
So play I will. But you can't make me like it.</div>
Henchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15396190504338058164noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-14451748033426436582013-03-21T20:31:00.003-04:002013-03-21T20:45:25.259-04:00Freelance Evolution<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pride and Reluctance:</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve stopped and started writing this particular entry more times than I could count, but there in the unlikely place (at the bag of a bottom of Doritos, depression-flavor) was the beginning. I didn't want to hurt any feelings, or run anyone off - so OEF is the best home for this entry as I'm just talking to my "friends" and myself. I may not know the “sexy” thing to say, but I know the “honest” thing. That’s as good of a starting point for a blog entry than anything else I can think of.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Imaginary Alter-Egos</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lava-Pony of Lavaponyland - was born out of a joke I made to one Carol Ann Gardler eons ago in a time space where we were far less jaded and had less wrinkles around our eyes. We had a friend that would destroy her perfectly kind-hearted boyfriends..and I had joked that she would ride that “pony right into the lava”. I later </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">realized I was being ridden into the lava professionally by well meaning freelance clients ( circa 2003). I was much greener and perfectly kind-hearted and heading towards a boiling demise.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Meat is <span style="color: #783f04;">not</span> a metaphor:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In 2003 I did my first “paid” freelance. I worked on a 40 page (50 year) high school reunion book for two weeks and was paid in <span style="color: #ea9999;">ham.</span> You read that right, <b>ham</b> ...as in the canned meat. If you give me a minimum wage for that time period - that would 40 x $8 per hour = $320. The client thought I did such a wonderful job, that she would pay me with meat. Two weeks of my life..traded for meat and not even the sexy kind. Imagine doing anything for two weeks and being paid nothing. I bought nothing. I travelled nowhere and that “exposure” was laughable. Anyone that seen this project was well into their mid-late retirements. I vowed never again. I did no freelance after that for about 3 years. Fast forward 10 years later and I find myself in the same situation except worse, now I am ham-less with the added torture of social media. I get to watch my deadbeat clients vacation and party - while I ask my mom to help me pay my utilities. Hi, I'm Leslie and I am a doormat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Beneficial Agreements: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had an understanding with my next and “only” freelance client after that - that I was not to ever be paid in trade or ham..only money. Every agreement has went this way up until recently when I started getting “ham or nothing” again. </span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Perspective:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a day-job and plan on keeping one well into my 70’s. Yes, I have to drive and eat briskly - but the rent is paid and the lights are on. I like having medical insurance and the promise of retirement. And this isn’t just any day job. If I were an actress I’d now be an A-lister, so I don’t have to star in any straight to dvds. I love this job. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I choose it, not the Freelance after-party.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Batteries not included:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I missed Halloween working on a “rush” project, that to date - I haven’t been paid for. My logic at the time was that I needed the money more than I needed the life experience. But folks..there’s <b>no freelance job worth more than Halloween.</b> Even more devastating..I may not even be able to fit my She-Ra costume. What a waste of super powered nerd-bliss. Let’s hope I have better luck as Ravishing (rick) Leslie - Rude at the 80’s wrestler costume extravanganza. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Re-Up:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was going to be my retirement from freelance blog. However - I have clients and friends that are fair and prompt and consider my time valuable. They are worthwhile and fun. It’s not fair to them. So I’m not "retiring", I’m just restructuring. Moving forward I will require a contract and a deposit. The contract and deposit information will be available in the next two weeks for any interested parties as a downloadable pdf on <a href="http://lavaponyland./">Lavaponyland.</a> I’m not explicitly turning down “unpaid” pro-bono jobs - but if you need my help enough to request it without even the hope of paying me - I’m going to at least have to hear a case by case reason of why. I need the option to accept or decline a project. </span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Poker Face:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s my hope I haven’t lost any clients over showing my cards in this here piece of writing. If your project is only<b> 50 bucks.</b> It’s still gonna be <b>50 bucks.</b> I’m just not starting it without a signature and some incentive. As for friends, that’s always free. I prefer presence over presents anytime. And if it’s quiet....that’s okay too. That's a sign I need to move on to other Leslie projects. Like photoshopping goats' heads on bikini models..or watching Zombie tv shows with half-open eyes. Hey..I didn’t say they were <i>noble</i> projects.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Laters -</i></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">L</span></div>
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-20506328567104933782013-03-15T14:33:00.000-04:002013-03-15T14:34:11.757-04:00Leslie Journal 3.15.2013<div>
<strong>Diet Mt. Dews Consumed</strong>: 2 (as of 10:00 am. - we're cooking with pure gasoline today people)</div>
<div>
<strong>Weight</strong>: More than Jennifer Hudson, but less than Kim Kardashian with child</div>
<div>
<strong>Bangs:</strong> Inactive</div>
<div>
<strong>Length of Mom Visit:</strong> 3 months</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>A Cry for Help</strong></div>
<div>
I pulled a filling out of my back teeth with a Rollo. It was written up in this manner on my chart: "Patient presented with oral pain after consuming a pack of Rollos." Cavities hurt like a m*fer. In my defense I'm an avid brusher and flosser - but I will woman up and say: Hi, I'm Leslie and I am a candy/soda fiend. The appointment has been made for this to be fixed, but if you see me with sticky chocolate candies, please save me from myself.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>On colored pants:</strong></div>
<div>
My cobalt blue skinny jeans are amazingly comfy. My ass has found it's habitat. </div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>Ridin' Dirty:</strong></div>
<div>
Sitting in court for four hours attempting to void a ticket for expired inspection is a humbling experience. You will meet the finest your city has to offer. You may also meet your newest friend, Quixota with a cheek piercing and hot pink hair who thinks you smell great and your real friend who is a lawyer may see you in court sitting very low in the seat as you try to dissappear from embarrassment. Not that this happened to me. ;) </div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>B</strong><strong>attle Royale (with Cheese):</strong></div>
<div>
The Cookout restaurant chain is building it's latest Norfolk offering directly across from Doumars. This could get ugly...or really freaking fantastic. I shall report my news findings on both as research is conducted.</div>
Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-74344728228183619012013-02-01T14:39:00.002-05:002013-02-13T09:23:57.950-05:00Shameless Use of OEF<strong>A foreword:</strong> I'm fighting a very losing battle at my place of employment to just get a few social media quotes posted. I cannot find a way to explain that these things are just meant to educate/attract new readers (and <em><strong>hello</strong></em> Colonel Meow and Takei can't be wrong!) It's a place of education - so it's not wrong to utilize these quotes to get people to come and learn. We're not selling anything. <br />
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<strong><em>So</em></strong> to make me feel better about designing all these - Hench said I could post them. Use the knowledge as you feel. It can't hurt to have some factoids in your brain. I enjoyed making them. If you have any silly ones - where you'd like to replace credit with mayonaise, or Bankrate.com with "Lil the Cat". Please let me know. <br />
<br />
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Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-85232854872367964202013-02-01T11:43:00.000-05:002013-02-13T09:24:45.278-05:00Pointless outpouring of love (for music)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
With apologies to my main man from high school, J. Mascis
was my first love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was 13 and I didn’t
even know what he looked like, and I didn’t really care. (This was before the
internet was what it is now, no Google, no Yahoo, no way to find out every
intimate detail about somebody by simply typing in their name and hitting “enter.”
Kids these days are so spoiled.)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7QBBGxieuzI/UQvufHQcBMI/AAAAAAAAADY/UyuXvZMDTqw/s1600/J+Mascis!.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7QBBGxieuzI/UQvufHQcBMI/AAAAAAAAADY/UyuXvZMDTqw/s1600/J+Mascis!.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Had I seen this when I was 13, it would have enforced my love. (Ebet Roberts/Redferns)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All I knew was that his voice, his lyrics, his freaking
amazing guitar playing was all for me. He was my soul mate. He’s the reason I
spent my early teenage years in a fog of manufactured sadness. I wanted to hug
him, to protect him from whatever made him so sad. It was all about the music.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first musical crush was Chris Cornell, but with him I
think it was all about the hair and the piercing eyes. Let’s face it, that man
is a minor god, still. He’s aged very well. But he was no match for the pure
soul that J. Mascis poured out from the dented speakers on my portable CD
player. You know, the kind that had a CD player on top and a tape deck on the
front. Because, well, my Dinosaur Jr. albums were on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tape</i>. I was cheap and tapes were cheaper, so that’s what I bought.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I liked other bands, sure, but I was crazy for Dinosaur Jr.
I listened to them everyday, sometimes all of the albums back to back, over and
over. In the car with my parents, I begged them to let me listen to my tapes.
My dad even liked a few of their more radio-friendly songs, though he insisted
on calling them “Dance for Junior.” (He also called Pearl Jam “Toe Jam.” So
disgusting.) I had the names of all of the songs memorized in order from oldest
to newest and vice versa. What can I say, I had a lot of free time. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I discovered that J. was in a movie called <i>Gas, Food,
Lodging</i> I recorded it (VCRs, ha!) on HBO and watched it over and over again. I
memorized his few lines and obsessed over them, and his delivery of them. I
still love that movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
J. was Dinosaur Jr. for me. Yes, I knew he had a reputation
of being so difficult that there was a revolving door of artists that were in
the band with him. I even grew to love Lou Barlow and Sebadoh. But despite what
Lou screamed at J. during a Sebadoh show, J. was the band, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>Lou or Murph. Lou and Murph <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did
not </i>make J. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, almost 20 years later (can that really be true??),
Dinosaur Jr. has reunited and released several albums. J. released a solo album
that takes me right back to my teenage years. He still speaks to me. He gets
me. "Can I" is one of the best songs I've heard. And even though he has a wife to protect him from pain now, if she needs
backup, I’m available. </div>
</div>
Henchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15396190504338058164noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-50117377476621223392013-01-25T22:17:00.001-05:002013-01-26T09:46:00.578-05:00The Hatefire Burrito<br />
<div style="font-family: arial;">
<b><i>To be filed under the "therapy letter that may never reach it's intended"...</i></b></div>
<div style="font-family: arial;">
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">I started writing a rebuttal to a ridiculous expletive laden tirade - lobbed directly at me by a (distant and secondary) family member earlier this week on Facebook (sigh). The first variation of this rebuttal was really ugly - but I got (blissfully) distracted.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><b><i>Because then:</i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Mom packed a bag lunch for me with at least 10 different items; Jen and CJ are going to have a baby; Jen C called randomly (and from far far away) and presented me with some new opportunities; Latitus J (my amazing Godson) won a science fair award and I clapped like I was at the Golden Globes; I had the best dinner at Bravos with the Daniels' sisters, and then Chilli's (I know right!); Arlene P wrapped up something with her family and tried to join us but was blocked due to a venue change, but she tried - next week hot yoga!. My brother is having a baby and painting a mural too - except his has texture (and mine doesn't which I'm jealous about). I'm wading through a sea of great new comics I bought for my iPad; oh and I took some classes and bought some online and..; and tomorrow..? I don't know, but I'm looking forward to it. </span><br />
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You see most of these things were some sorta posts on my Facebook. <b>It's a public forum.</b> I assume when I read these things that the people posting them are aware someone is reading them - and maybe even occassionally tell someone else something they what seen, like say a parent. I read things and discuss them with people around me. A good friend once told me, she didn't feel any guilt about posting something as long as it was <b>TRUE.</b><br />
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The point is: I am not a "nosey f*n bitch" and I did not "start sh*t with your mother". I only told my mom that your Facebook said that <i>you had moved</i>. That's it and this is pretty much where this story goes to ground. I'm not launching a COUNTER CAPS LOCK ATTACK. As I feel the adjectives in front of bitch would just stack up and I'm not apologizing. </div>
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Life does not suck. It's not <b>so boring.</b> It's really kinda great even the crappy parts. Excessive cursing also doesn't mean you're a badass. It just means you're hiding behind a monitor. And you have alot to learn about growing up. </div>
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I'll be seeing you sometime in the future as it seems with family you always do. Like it or not. </div>
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But I'll be the one holding the skateboard next time....not getting hit with it. </div>
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I leave you with the awesome Gemma..my sometimes hero from Sons of Anarchy. Handling things the old way...you know before Facebook. </div>
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Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-45717434817891920702013-01-02T12:07:00.004-05:002013-01-02T12:09:02.494-05:00My Christmas was better than your NYE.<div>
So's if you're here reading you have successfully survived another Christmas (or the imaginary war on said holiday). You probably also survived a New Year's celebration featuring a strong beverage of which you are currently paying for. It's okay if you're too old to drink like a fish or too young to handle it. I stayed home on the holiday itself - took down my lights and had a fabulous bowl of chilli. Not even one night before, I spent the whole day in Christmastown taking in the lights, a hot tottie, a giant pretzel and carnival almonds. Also the Redskins won via Mom's couchside coaching - so life is peachy. </div>
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2012 was *the* best year of my professional 9-5 job life. I got awardish type things: A GIANT PLAQUE (it's big enough to cover 2/3's of my body), a letter from the DoD, a picture with the Admiral, 2 coins, 2 baskets of flowers, more trips to Chilli's than you can shake a stick at, 2 cakes, and more hugs and Thank You's than ever. If 2011 was the dream deferred, then 2012 was the climb back - and the climb continues.</div>
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Friday I celebrate the unfortunate anniversary of Taste Trauma 2012. Food poisoning + passing out = head/shoulder injury. Secretary Clinton I felt/feel your pain. Here's to a speedy recovery on her pain and my wallet!</div>
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I seen some friends walk out the door - but more came in (including a niece/nephew Paxton in progress ETA August 2013.)</div>
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<strong>My goals for 2013?..</strong></div>
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Let's see - I've long wanted to crash into a food tray. I want at least one photo with teeth where my gums are not showing. I want to replace the meat in an enchilada with pumpkin filling and see who notices. I want to swim alot more. I want a place with a yard big enough to mow and a kitchen with room to open the stove and the drawer simultaneously. I want at least 4 trips by train and waaaay more hugs and kisses. </div>
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No resolve here - just a wish out into the universe for some good things. </div>
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As G said - That's it. The end. :)</div>
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Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-83129866642129634122012-12-27T14:14:00.002-05:002012-12-27T14:14:26.920-05:00On lunches (post feast related holidays)...<span dir="ltr" id=":1kw">I always feel rude turning down lunch invites.</span><br />
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<strong>What I actually said out of my mouth after looking directly at bagged lunch on my desk:</strong> I'd <strong><em>love</em></strong> to. (swarmy). <br />
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<strong>10 minutes later what I actually typed:</strong> Hey K, I forgot I had to run some errands on my lunch break today (lie). I will def be up for next Mexican outing though! (lie with emphasis!) Thanks for the invite! (truth..oh my what am I doing..) End with cold digital work signature. <br />
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<strong>The unedited version:</strong><br />
<span dir="ltr" id=":1l8">"Thanks so much for inviting me to the Mexican place for lunch..while I find your company delightful..I find the food grease-laden and covered in toxins (true delicious toxins)....also I have eaten enough to feed a small Nigerian populus over the course of the holidays and need to starve today to feel better about myself the rest of the week (very true) ...thanx for the invite, smooches - Leslie"</span><br />
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<span dir="ltr"><strong>The answer to these answers:</strong></span><br />
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<span dir="ltr"><span style="color: #351c75;">O.K.</span></span><br />
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<span dir="ltr"></span>Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8914266.post-39242313636480471462012-12-12T09:17:00.000-05:002012-12-12T09:17:11.983-05:00Flu Flu Katchoo..<span dir="ltr" id=":25">I <em>think </em>I have the flu...I</span>'m going to admit defeat and go to the doctor today. This is quite a departure from typical Leslie behavior in which I attempt all friendly advisments and google diagnosis and try to handle the situation myself. <br />
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I thought I'd jot down a few of the recommendations I've gotten from friends, colleagues, and random Christmas party attendants all of whom want me to feel better. <br />
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1. Green Tea: I've consumed more of this substance than I care to share. I waited patiently for my skin to clear, my hair to fluff out and my life to generally get more awesome. Alas, its' only tea - my throat still hurts, my hair still resembles a disco lion, and stall number 4 at work is tired of seeing..my lovely face. I'm more of a Sleepytime, Earl Grey, and Long Island tea girl myself. <br />
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2. Brandy (and Coke): It tasted pretty good, but other than laughing awkwardly over a tragedy and burping myself to sleep - I fail to see the medicinal value. <br />
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3. Emergen-C: Boo. Nothing. <br />
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4. Zicam: BOO! Nothing!<br />
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5. Dayquil: This seems to hold the coughs at bay but does nothing for the earache or the roller coaster of personal temperatures during the day. <br />
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6. Sleep: I have more of this going on then I care to admit. Going to bed at 6:30 is just not my style. <br />
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7. Water: Yuck. I'm sorry, but yuck. (I'm drinking this too..along with my non-working Emergen-C and green tea. )<br />
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8: Crackers: Please someone order me a pizza. <br />
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In conclusion, I am TRYING to not cough...and I'm trying <em>lots of things</em>...but sometimes you are just sick...and need to go get the Z-Pack and I've never had a Medical Doctor prescribe Green Tea. <br />
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Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10644349066394938308noreply@blogger.com0