I was weary of getting the wrong packages through the mail: This means YOU OVERSTOCK. (P.s. purple and white does not equal gold and blue). I was downtrodden from venturing into furniture stores: Hanes and Havertys where despite saying “NO I am just looking,” I was shepherded off to secluded desks to discuss payment options when I a. didn’t even want the bed and b. only had one stick of Watermelon Xtra to pay for it. I was frustrated from taking a day off of work to wait for things to arrive via delivery and haggling the costs, when I decided to take things into my own hands.
Leslie P meet IKEA.
I had heard rumors of the fabled store, rumblings of affordability and allegations of modern furniture at cost efficient prices. The internet confirmed these rumors with the same speed and accuracy as E! finding out about Brangelina’s pregnancy. And after lying on the floor for two weeks, I was a woman on a mission. Long story short, I recruited a friend, I rented a truck and IKEA here we come.
Excerpt from message from Leslie to Henchio: (after finding that she’d sent me much simpler directions than Mapquest)!
I'm just now getting this message (Monday 8 a.m.) but — Thank God is right! Every experience I've had as a passenger on the beltway was harrowing to say the least. I clung to map quest directions like nobody's business Saturday. But at any rate – I'm sorry I missed you. I didn't realize what I was getting into in Ikea.
I would like to add a sidebar that driving a huge Dodge Dakota is extremely empowering and apparently alluring. As I was driving, people moved graciously and courteously out of my way as they will not when you are driving a small car. I was noticed in parking lots and treated differently when people thought that truck was mine. I’m starting to understand those country songs about tractors being sexy and mud on the tires.
Big truck with a 6 - cylinder engine equals 2 and a half hour trip instead of 3. It also equals people driving 90 miles an hour. No joke, people in NoVA (northern Virginia) drive at LEAST 100 mph. I remember a harrowing trip around Thanksgiving time about 4 years ago in which I was following (cough, CHASING) my friend from one location in Manassas to the next in Woodbridge. Trying to signal her that I drove a metro and that they (Metros, 4 cylinders) just didn’t understand what fast was, she sped to her boyfriends house as if that shit were on fire. Then I looked around and realized EVERYONE WAS GOING TO HER BOYFRIENDS HOUSE APPARENTLY.
Six hours into Ikea trip Marcia and I are hungry! I don’t mean a little famished, I mean if I didn’t get some food I would attack the sparrows in the parking lot. So her cousin so graciously introduced us to Cheeseburger in Paradise. We sat for 20 minutes and NO one came to even ask if we wanted a tea. Her cousin so graciously says excuse me about 4 or 5 times to the passing servers before we all say EXCUSE ME to the one that seems to be nearest to us. And she says…”ummm…..Yeessssssss????”
Cousin: “HI, um, can we just be served?? I mean I’d settle for a packet of Ketchup at this point.”
I haven’t had to break my Judy face out in like a month, but there it was in full starving glory.
Fast Fwd. one hour and delicious hamburger later. (Don’t worry we didn’t eat the waitress!) and we’re on our way back to Nofo. I got my bed together and it looks like the fanciful room I posted a week ago on OEF.
I mean it’s not a great adventure, but what were you expecting this isn’t THE GOONIES.
HA..
5 comments:
You know...I also ordered something from Overstock (a comforter) and it turned out to be something totally not what was pictured on their website. So I returned that shit posthaste and got the most lovely duvet cover at the Cape May linen outlet instead.
But...IKEA. I've only been once, and I'm not sure I'll be heading back any time soon. The whole experience was a little overwhelming, as the store is as big as Kansas City.
The Good: The home decor & accessories stuff. It was all very cheap and neat to look at, so you could very well decorate a room on a tiny budget.
The Bad: (Besides your experience, Leslie, which I understand was very good) The furniture. It all looks very nice all assembled & displayed in the showroom, but we had trouble with the concept of actually getting a given armchair into our house so we could sit on it. First, the IKEA employee wasn't very helpful, then we apparently were supposed to remember the model name & color and go to the WAREHOUSE and find it, THEN pay for it, THEN load it into our car by ourselves, and THEN take it home and put it together!!!
WTF???
You see, my idea of buying furniture has been spoiled by my experience at Raymour & Flanigan. Last year when my sister bought the house, we busted into R&F with a mission: furnish that bitch. We met Claude, a sales guy, and told him our mission. Smart guy that he is, he knew to just let us do our thing. He went and got us a Pepsi, then spent the next two hours following us around the store as we sat on various pieces of furniture, argued, cracked our own shit up over silly things, and would eventually say "Okay, Claude, add it to the list". When we'd picked everything out, Claude rang us up, asked for our address, and we were at Lonestar eating a lettuce wedge within the hour. Then, magically, a few days later some nice gentlemen showed up with our furniture. And every time we've been back to R&F since, to buy a coffee table or an occasional chair, we just ask for Claude. He brings a Pepsi and just tells us to holler when we've made up our minds.
Everyone should have a Claude. Or maybe not. IKEA seems to have taken over the world, so they must be doing something right.
I really DID have to do everything myself. I was EXHAUSTED by the time I lay me down to sleep. It's my nature though to see the complete picture instead of the steps to get there. I really am blessed to have fabulous via telephone direction givers and potential helpers should I be in a NoVA jam. Not to mention my team of builders (Marcia a.k.a. Bob Mf'n Villa and Tiesha's Right place at the right time Dad). Not that I couldn't have built that bed myself, I'm just saying it would be incomplete right now and I'd be asleep in the floor.
IKEA is it's own country. I just remember everyone seemingly gliding along looking forward and marching zombie like with their little warehouse list.
I reduced my trauma by mapping that shit out with my fake internet bedroom.
I remember breaking out in a cold sweat in the parking lot b/c it was sooo claustrophobic and going from a small ass Metro to a 20ft Dakota is a tight squeeze. There was twice when I though my life was in peril..IN THE PARKING LOT. Just way too many people.
I appreciate the bad totally. But..seeing as how I have 8.52 in checking. The good - gave me a bedroom suite. :)
I would have also liked a Claude. The employees were like oompa loompas hiding behind boxes and fleeing from questions.
I feel so bad that I didn't send those directions to your home email instead of work...well you made it in one piece and you are stronger for it!
As for Overstock, I can't get past the annoying lady in the commercials. She thinks she is so sexy or something...turns me right off.
Aside from the crappy service, how was that cheeseburger place? Next time, you should eat at On the Border, it is right by the interstate...best Americanized Mexican food around...great salsa.
We seen On the Border as we left and Marcia freaked out. Cheeseburger in Paradise --crappy service aside was delicious foodwise especially if you are into burgers.. They had a bunch of burgers that you could get anything on (but oddly you had to request) the specials menu *thank goodness her cousing a local was familiar or I mighta missed out.
the overstock "o" has underwhelmed me.
No more of LP's money for them. Boo.
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