D Day

The war on Christmas is officially over, seeing as how we have another 365 days to decide what we want to say to each other next year to celebrate the month of December and the first days of January. I didn’t quite get it til I got to Covington when I had at least four verbal skirmishes with my family as they screamed “THEY” are trying to take Christmas from “US”. I spent hours trying to discern who the evil “THEY” were and then after finding no discernible clear answer I took the less stressful road and left that conversation where it belongs in un-win-able silly conversation land. I have a lot of those with my family. Usually ending in my mom, aunt, substitute relative here, yelling “BECAUSE!!!!”

Christmas on the whole was great. I got everything I wanted which balanced my chaotic crazed spending in a way. Only one lamentable present…a stuffed snowman wearing an “I love America” t-shirt whilst holding a bag of candy. I’ll give the giver a break though she doesn’t see me often, and if when she does if the impression I convey is American snow candy then that’s kinda positive I guess. Although I did feel a little…regifted.

My mom didn’t fair as well though. I had to help her wade through the lake of body lotions and stinky scented candles. Call me crazy, but unless it’s someone that knows you well, never hazard a guess at what kind of perfume or body fragrance an acquaintance wears.

The Christmas extravaganza also left me with a new bedroom to refurnish. I’ve discovered I have issues committing to highly expensive purchases. I left 3 furniture stores in a cold sweat. Those sales people are worse than car dealers. I’m just looking means I’m just looking. It doesn’t mean follow me about til I flee to the upstairs mattress level for sanctuary and then make a dash to the front entrance through a sea of berbers and plushes.

I guess my issues with bedroom suites are these: the mattress is not included! It costs more than the furniture. Shipping and installation is a factor not all places deliver (I can’t load a mattress on the hood of my car.) Some places will only sell the set and NOT the bed(?) I mean I already have a dresser and desk that function fine! All I know at this point is that I want bed pictured above and somehow either I need to get to IKEA or IKEA needs to come to me.

New Years was it’s usual built up and then fizzle excitement. The local bars hiked up cover charges to 75 bucks. For a 75 dollar cover fee, I would expect some life-altering shit to go down. I wanna be taken to a new level of nightclub life. There would have to be a ball that drops within the club, a music playlist of my own personal favorites, an unlimited amount of alcohol and all of my friends would have to be let in for free. I would also expect Ryan Reynolds show up and dance with me and then Bloc Party would put on a live show.

For my THIRTY dollars I went with my nearest and dearest to Red Lobster (my first time there) and tried all brand new seafood. It was no Time Square, but I did begin the year with something new.

So here’s to another year of scandal, raunchy TV, national disasters, gifts both wanted and unwanted, and high moral fiber. Out with Boobney bring on the FLAVA.

Happy New Years ALL!