Shame on you, Ando!

For taking time out from saving the world to get your master's online.

Although, the whole "Thinking ahead" tagline is sort of appropriate, maybe that'll be his special power.

Who doesn't need a pan flute?

I recently was discussing Treo and Q phones with one of my friends the other day. My big argument was that the whole purpose of a phone was to talk to someone who was away from you. Which you can't essentially do if the speakers are replaced with keys and the earpiece is some funky chip (bluetooth) which only picks up background noices, wind blowing, and static.

So imagine my joy when I watched this jewel on Conan the other night.



Iphone - it's everything.

Cookie Monster

I felt mildly ashamed/silly today after I ate half a cookie left on my desk. It had an attached sticky note that said "what do you think??" Sooooo - I wrongly assumed that it was a cookie for the eating, when it was actually a 20 dollar collector's cookie I was to scan.

I suddenly know how dogs feel when they chew through owners slippers.

In my world, cookies are for eating. Not collecting!

This weeks silly mis-typed phrase ---

"Yeah, inside too - but I need to get some amoral wipes because I'm afraid I don't think the wiping went really good."

- My cousin when asked about her poor car cleaning habits.

An amoral wipe just sounds so naughty. I'm thinking she probably meant to say armoral.

What the hell is going on with Mother Nature?

Wow, I complain a lot (see last post).

Seriously, what is wrong with her? How could it have been 84 and 82 last Monday and Tuesday respectively, and then not get out of the 50's for the following 8 days? And it is not supposed to go above 62 for the rest of this week or next, with plenty of temperatures in the 40's between now and then. And what is with all the freakin' rain? We aren't going to have any May flowers with all this stupid cold weather, so the April showers can just fuck right off.

Are we pissing her off or something, my god! I'm so over this, I don't think I can take another winter. I hope this summer is 95 degrees everyday here.

Anybody care to join me in Hawaii or Tahiti? We can find jobs as waitresses or maids in the huge resort hotels, like in Blue Crush. Not that I have seen that movie or anything. Really. I've just heard about it from people. Or something. Someone other than me.

Little Annoyances

Scarlett Johansson.

The latest on the terrible actress/kind-of-a-bimbo frontline: "I think I kind of look like a boy. I mean, not my body, obviously." -- Scarlett Johansson

Well, obviously!

Knees (and elbows).

Because I take them for granted, they love to remind me of their existence by ramming themselves into the bracket that holds my new workstation together. Eeeeouch! Also a favorite pasttime, ramming themselves into the useless keyboard tray under my desk. I can honestly say I've never used this keyboard tray thing, which sticks out about a half inch from the desk, but computer services won't get rid of it.

Sometimes my elbows get into the spirit as well, ramming themselves on the edge of my desk. But I've stopped this problem by raising my chair all the way up. This is good for my knees as it brings me ever closer to the keyboard tray.

Driving. At all. Anywhere in Northern Virginia.

Why just today, on my way to work, I had a large truck try to come in my lane when I was right beside it (I guess I was too small for him to see from Such Great Heights), a clunker almost pull out in front of me from a parking lot, a car pull out in front of me from a merge lane going, oh, I don't know, 15 MPH to my 40 MPH (silly me, doing a little thing call obeying the law and driving at the speed limit) driven by somebody on a very important cell phone call, and I encountered somebody riding on a little scooter that couldn't go faster than 35 MPH, also in a 40 MPH zone. I swear, people are out of their ever-loving minds when it comes to driving.

People who roll their eyes all the time and pretend to be so bored with life.

My new coworker excels at this. He is always pretending its the end of the world when we have a slow day (or week). As if he doesn't spend every minute loudly typing his memoirs or whatever, work or no work. He's fresh out of college, you'd think he'd be at least thankful to have a steady paycheck and health benefits.

And finally, cleaning crews that come in while you are working and insist that you hold the presses (sort of literally for us in the Publishing Business) and get out of your chair so they can clean around your workspace.


There, bitchfest over. Now I can get back to waiting for work to trickle in so I can go home sometime tonight.

You can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes and am so bored with life.

Thou shalt not use YouTube to populate your blog with "content"

Sorry for the back-to-back YouTube posts, but I sawr this on Idolator, and I think it's kind of awesome.

I especially like the "just a band" part. And the part about coke products. And every other part.

Some people are just nice!

Bueno!

This is one of the best TV Funhouse's in recent memory...if you haven't spent any amount of time with the under 5 crowd in the last few years you may not "get" it, but enjoy anyway...

PH LAW

I probably shouldn't even be writing this blog given corporate america's stand on blogs in general. I figure it's not about my actual job or tasks more or less, but about a grievance I must voice and will be taking a stand on next week at my job..(that is barring a cold front.)

My office has a "business/casual/formal" dress code in place year round. Which in a nutshell means - no jeans, no khakis, no cotton?? (wtf) and no capris. This was drafted during the late 80's during which corporate america had to go to war with biker shorts, spandex stirrups, and arsenals of neon bangles and hair accessories. Not to mention shoulder pads, animal print, and coolocs ( no idea how to spell that). Given that today's high climbed up to 86 it was no suprise to get to my desk to find this email in my mailbox.

"Ladies, in order to offer additional comfort, we “seasonally” suspend the Business Casual dress code to allow all who wish not to wear pantyhose or socks. The period of time that this is allowed is from Memorial Day to Labor Day. I am disappointed to see quite a few gals instituting this privilege now and not waiting until Memorial Day which is May 28th. Should it be necessary, please review the Company Dress Code which is always posted on our bulletin boards."

I don't like panty hose, but I will wear them if the event, fashion dictates it. Given that the planet is heating up year by year - is it unreasonable for the law to be broken slighty ahead of Memorial day? Norfolk has no true seasons, just a modge podge of mixed temperatures varying wildly week to week. Why should the new millenium ladies be punished for the sins of the 80's?

So next week, me and a few rebels are casting panty hose to the wind and heading off to work. Wish me luck humble OEF readers. If you can wear jeans - shout hell yeah into the night!
and check out this video from HBO's 6 Feet Under ------

I'm turning in my assignment late. Even if I fail, I'm doing this for my own pride.

My shell color is pale because I'm super-pale because its winter. My eyebrows are bushy because they need to be waxed (Yes I get my eyebrows waxed. Its the one luxury I indulge in) and my sunglasses, which resemble those I had to wear after Lasik, hide (well mostly hide) the bags under my eyes, cause I'm tired! I'm yawning, also cause I'm tired. My hair is wavy cause that's how I want it to be in real life, and the color was inspired by the time in high school when I dyed it red with Manic Panic. My gloves are tan like the ones I borrowed from G's roomate one year and "forgot" to give back. I still have 'em! My slippers are symbolic of the yellow duck slippers I used to have that would quack when you squeezed an ear on the left one (even though these are bunnies). And finally, the tiki cup is because the weather is getting warmer (well it was when I first made my M&M, that's how long this project took me) and I'm ready to go out and have fun.


My Leslie's shell is brown because she was so tan when I saw her last summer. Her hair is in a ponytail because she is about to go running. This also accounts for her ipod ear buds and her cool green running shoes. I'm not sure what her real running shoes look like, but at any rate, the character creator kind of sucks anyway, so you are limited in what you can do. Her gloves are gray because of the sketching she has been doing in pencil, and her face is that of when she was the victim of boob-gropping at the NOFX show last year.








My Carol Ann's shell is hot pink in remembrance of our favorite color for the SAC movie flyers we used to post all over Powhatan. Her hair is blue and short like the wig she wore one Halloween that provided hours of fun even after Halloween was way over. Her foot is in a cast because of the terrible accident in BAL that involved Kevin Turner's longboard. Her facial expression is that of having taken a sip of Pepsi and savoring its fizzy yumminess, and the purse is because she always has a new cute purse whenever I see her.