While I usually shy away from work tales or blogs of extreme personal nature or meaning I thought I’d share a recent event that shone a little light into my world of cubicles, epic powerpoints and org charts.
This past Monday I was doing a routine office clean up, as from time to time my area gets junky and I need to remove dated materials that contain certain confidential information. Upon reading some of the documents slated for execution by recycle I thought “these have personal stuff - they should be shredded”. Given that my department does not own it’s own shredder I asked coworker B whose I could borrow or if there was a lender shredder available.
I was directed to June in the redacted dept.
I asked to borrow June’s paper shredder - a 2008 shiny blue silent CANON. It’s about the size of a humidifier and on wheels. To which she responded in a machine gun like patter “you can’t, it’s new, it’s mine, i mean it belongs to this department, I just don’t think I could have you wheelling it around.”
To me anything after no is drivel, so i went into plan B mode, flapped my hands to stop the tirade of why she didn’t think I was capable enough of operating and returning her shredder and tried to move on to something else. When she attempted to convince me “why couldn’t I just hand tear them”??
Feeling defeated I went next door and looked sadly at another coworker who gladly handed over her $10 office max shredder and let me use it for the following hour (In which it was promptly returned).
I tried to imagine in my mind a world where I would be denied a paper shredder. What did she think I was going to do? Put squirrels in it? And why “wheeling around”? Was I going to ride it down the stairs? And mine? The only thing that is truly mine in my office are my pictures, my keyboard, and my knick knacks that remind me of a life far far from annual reports and if anyone wanted to borrow said knick knacks, I know I could retrieve them from inside the building.
I don’t really care anymore about shredding private documents and I don’t have the energy to hand tear them. But should I ever get my hands on June's shredder. I’m going to put cheese in it. Just because. AND I might, just maybe take it roller skating with me.
4 comments:
June's shredder def needs some cheese.
There's a ginourmous industrial shredder in the copy room here in the hospital, as almost every single piece of paper in the building has some sort of sensitive information on it. There are also always superfluous abandoned copies laying around so when I'm copying I feed the monster. I imagine it making a very Jabba the Hut like noise as is NOM-NOM-NOM's on forgotten patient menu selections.
I really like the image of you taking the shredder for a joyride.
I think that's what "June" envisioned.
"Me taking the shredder to happy hour, pictures in front of the christmas tree, me giving it beer, the two of us jogging in central park."
June's shredder makes a hum....noosh..hum...noosh kinda sound. I fear it's been spoiled.
better yet, maybe some onion should go in that thing....you are good at making office complex's have an interesting smell (dare I say....ham?) lol
Post a Comment