I’m THANKFUL December starts Friday. Not that November wasn’t a fabulous month, it really was - just a few too many events and goings on to ever get a full handle on what just really went down in 30 short days. And the fact that visits from the family leave me feeling a little like Ramona Quimby, for weeks after they are over. Ramona P, An 11 year old version of me, rendered voiceless and enslaved to divorcee conversations, gun control matters, and all things “murriage related”.
MURRIAGE: definition; mountain mispronunciation for marriage, except with a lot less romance and a lot more teen pregnancy. Dates involve speeding around Wal-mart in vehicles which featured either enhanced or (oft-times) non existent mufflers.
I’ll begin with the ladybugs that have plagued the city of Covington since the summer. And when I say plagued, I mean with a swarm of Ladybugs of biblical proportions. Apologies were posted at local restaurants, hotels, and stores. “We apologize for the seasonal visitors, please be aware we are doing everything in our power to remove them.” Relatives fighting them anyway they could. Vacuums, shoe bottoms, brooms, and ladybug traps..you name it. I became a ladybug vigilante at night...leaving one light on in the corner of the room at night to draw them in and then sucking them up in the dirt devil by morning (you shouldn't them squish because they stink).
At some point, we made friends. I’d came to see them as fashion accessories and baby cat seen them as protein supplements. We adapt as did the other animals.
My uncle (an authority on all things UVA, Redskin and deer related) states “As the parks service would have it, they brought in the ladybugs to kill aphids that were killing certain indigenous trees and local farming crops. Well they did. Except they made more ladybugs and have upset Covington’s ecosystem. There are swarms of ladybugs everywhere. To make that matter worse Coyotes were brought in to reduce carrion (dead animal carcasses), they are doing that but relieving people of their small domestic dogs and cats as well. “Here Kitty, Kitty” is met with silence in several mountainous homes. And the worst...the worst of that is that there are mountain lions running across the roads along route 220 to Roanoke.”
I wouldn’t have believed it either until my mom’s friend nearly ran over one (mountain lion) in the middle of the interstate.
God help Tidewater if the the Parks Services figures out Norfolk. I’m waiting for an ostrich to pass me in the HOV lane.
My brother was here for a week in which we: seen Borat, walked on the huge ship parked on Waterside drive, ate at Chilli’s (which should be named LESLIE’S as it is Meca), went to beach, an Imogen Heap concert, and concluded the week with a Granby Street trip. Imogen was pretty awesome, although I spent a majority of the time giggling at someone near me who kept saying “HOW MOVING, IMMIE!” To which I responded, “Yeah it’s like watching a live birth”. Borat was funny, but then I pictured Christian Finnegan from Best Week Ever, saying “Leslie, what do YOUR movies say about you?”
Happy Feet Anyone!?
Towanda!!!!!!!
5 comments:
I don't know if I can remain your friend anymore. I hope by ladybug traps you mean a comfortable bell jar with plenty of grass for them to feed on. I just can't sanction your murder of ladybugs. I have a soft spot for those little bugs, and a swarm of biblical proportions sounds just dandy....they spread joy all around! I'm going to get a tattoo of one in your honor, just for you.
What's on Granby street these days? Is Doumars still there?
Hench! You'd be proud of me. The Ladybugs were transported safely around in the portable dirt devil and returned back to the woods. Where they would then latch onto my clothes and ride back to the house from which they'd been removed 10 minutes previous.
The traps were given out by the parks service. They are green triangular things which smell like flowers and lure the ladybugs in.
The only casualties were the few that were accidently under my shoe. And my mom freaked out about those, because they have a very unpleasant odor when squished.
For Baby Cat however, it was Ladybug Apocalypto. Which according to Mel Gibson is not an ending, but a new beginning.
Happy Feet was such a cute movie! You should see it if you haven't yet. And that's crazy about the ladybugs, mountain lions and all that. What foreign world do you come from Leslie?
I was typing too fast and spelled my name wrong, isn't that soo sad?
That is a really funny mispelling! Bwhahahahahah.
Post a Comment