The Best Week(ish) Ever!! April 30 - May 10

You b***chs are wearing me out! (but I think I like it). 
LOGAN'S
This is place is yummy and you can get alot of food and drinks for $20. Why oh why (?!) have I overlooked the restaurants right outside of my own house! WW startup postponed again.

ART SHOW
My boss hosts a yearly pottery sale in her back yard and lets some of her peeps join in the fun. To be honest, I didn't know what to "sell" so I wasn't as prepared. I didn't actively market this to my entire friend group for the same reason.  Many of my pieces are just commissioned for your own purposes so it's weird trying to sell something I've drawn for myself.  For the next sale - I'll be alot more structured and much more inviting.  Readiness. I can haz this!

Many of these pieces are still for sale!

CINCO DE MAYO
I had company! I mean real drink making, movie watching, college margarita mixing guests. Which brings me to Tequila which you should not drink the night before....

A COLOR ME RAD RACE
.....see the picture...it was like that except for the actual running which was like a herd of wet humans tromping through a mud bog. Some mental notes: Getting messy like kindergarden = fun.  Trying to get any kinda of speed through the horde/tiny mud path = not so much. Running post tequila..not good.

Damn Hippies.

WINNING
We won our SECOND softball game. Technically it was a tie, but we did NOT lose.  It's just that both teams WON. And that's some real knowledge I'm dropping. My concise recap: their girls walked, our girls hit (real women hit...and look pretty doing it).  Our guys hit (50% into the hands of some guy with magnetic gloves or taking steroids). 

Up next: Profiles in Dopeness - Mother's Day Edition..

 

Leslie-o-Rama Spring 2012 Edition

Dear Diary blog blob..whatever...

It's been the busiest of times and I need a Red Bull. NO seriously..a Red Bull light anymore? 5 Hour Energy please?  Coffeee??

On those pesky lbs. ...
To begin; the moment I declared that I was going to restart my Weight Watchers plan, seemingly everyone around me wanted lunch, dinner, and all manners of snacklicious yum yums, pot-lucks and free foods. I pressed pause on the dietary issues in favor of social graces..but June is less than a month away now and I don't want to be wearing a sensible cardigan (or sensible anything) on the beach. So cheers to a new start - wish me luck. Goodness knows it will be tough to have two tacos instead of my normal five.

On Freelance and Volunteer endeavors...
A personal victory: I inched ever so close to my dream job of bartending this past Saturday. I wanted to test the theory of "situational hotness" from HIMYM. There wasn't any White Snake or Warrant playing and I mostly served weird brown beers to myself and sang tunes from Disney's The Little Mermaid but I had fun. I carded two women bordering on a century old and gave us all a good laugh, as it turns out a red orange wrist band won't get you into Scope but it will get you some Killians.  I hope someone cards me at 91 (or chip since I'm sure we'll be implanted with them soon). 

An educational nugget to file away for future use: bartending and freelancing will get you a fancy staff badge, it will not get you into any functioning restroom.  (Thank you again MacA for saving me from yet another set of restroom shenanigans).



Even you Uniformed Officer/Performer will be carded....

On softball..
Up until this past Monday my softball team - The Unicorns of the Apocalypse -  had not experienced the glory of victory. I have however; experienced: many many many domestic-violence-looking- bruises, ruined tennis shoes, hair bigger and frizzier than a lion's mane, and massive amounts of mosquito bites. If we never win again - I will remember April 30th as the day the little team that coudn't actually DID.  And also that my iphone failed miserably at GPS by getting me lost in a scary scary section of Pungo.

Blurry Pictures of the UoA's Victory Night

On unicorns and spirit animals..
What's with all the unicorns?
Simply put - my friend Marcia nicknamed me the Beer Unicorn in early 2011.
Why?
Because of my magically uncanny ability to conjure free "spirits" AND new friends at public festival related events. This theme trended into the following day with the horn symbol..(a pointy finger in front of the forehead signifying the occurrence of a social event).
What about the softball team?
Merely a coincidence...they were Unicorns before I joined (in the fall of 2011)..and just got more magical upon my joining.
Are you really a unicorn?
That completely depends on your imagination and if you believe in the power of awesome.

Reluctrant Truce

After finishing my 5th powerpoint for my new new job (which is another entry for another time) I decided to fully accept Powerpoint into my life and resume. We've had our ups and down, in the years post college I've thumbed my nose at this program, figuratively mooned it, and fairly sure I've made fart noises in it's general direction. I push it away year after year and there it is..back at my door..like a lyric from a scary love song.

So powerpoint, for better or for worse..I accept you as a valid design program. I will no longer complain, but design each presentation as if it were a keynote for Steve Jobs, with the artistry and execution of a webpage and the symphony and creativity of an oversized poster.

- yours

Leslie

Thursday Random

The recent passing of Whitney Houston and the theatrical re-release of Titanic have subsequently combined "I Will Always Love You" and "My Heart Will Go On" in a continuous mash-up loop in my brain. No good can come of epic power ballads combining.

Revelations - March 12, 2012

1. Newport News has a scary section that is not in any way tied to the Oyster Point area.
2. Pear Riesling is real..and it comes as a SALAD.
3. Kids do not eat free on Moe's Monday, but you can however enjoy a bloat inducing burrito for $5.
4. I have procrastinated some jobs to the point of almost reckless disregard. (Just how far can you drive on E I wonder?)
5. My eyebrows are indeed blonde and defiant of the rest of my natural hair coloring.

Leslies are of both light and dark...

So my friend Jennifer wrote a blog about a "no complaint day" ..below are my thoughts in chat stream about how this day worked out for me:

so it's funny
i tried the day of no complaining
but i found by mid no-complaint day
there was an excess of every other thought
which manifested in me eating tuna helper and falling asleep at 9:47
i think *Leslies must be of both light and dark
or thus may explode from the perpetual sunshine

Way Past Perpendicular - Hurricane Irere

**This blog entry is sooper late - but bear with me..I thought I was quitting!

Behold the horror and misspelling of IRERE! (IRENE'S hood cousin!)

While chatting with Hench today - it occurred to me that I may want to recap the mysticism of Hurricane Irene for posterity and capture the logic of my alter ego..the birthday princess.

To understand Tidewater residents especially Norfolk people, you must understand a few things.

1. Norfolk floods like you see on TV all the time. Especially downtown.  If you live in an area that floods like that ..odds are you should permanently evacuate that housing situation.  My last job on Hampton Boulevard found me constantly finding new and innovative ways to skirt, ski, skate, slide, or slip past ponding rivers and instant lakes.  So now anytime rain falls from the sky the navigational system in my brain kicks into "rerouting" mode. (I literally hear the Magellan girl saying.. reroute to blah blah blah.)

2.  Local news vs. National news forecasts were different.  Please please don't misinterpret this - thank heavens we have someone to tell us "shits about to get crazy".  Some people were not fortunate. Local news said: similiar to Isobel, power loss, tidal flooding (if you live in area that floods), risk of tornado - no lightning due to the speed of the storm..winds have caused downgrade from Cat 2 to Cat 1.  Although A. Fox is a madman and gave us the magical fingers in door demonstration of geometry.

And the new Norfolk catch phrase "past perpendicular."

National news said:  EVACUATE! STORM BIG AS ASIA! 60 MILLION PEOPLE! SKY IS FALLING! And Virginia Beach residents took advantage of what we actually seen outside and responded like this.

3. The actuality of the day(s) preceding and the event itself was again very different HERE than what the TV was cooking up. All through my birthday (celebrated with unicorn horns and a feast of sorts from my good friend G), my family was texting to GET OUT. And I was like "what in the world!, PFF! I'm in heaven why would I leave??" Crazy talk. That and I had about 8 dollars to my name - no money for friggin gas (I think this is why poor people fair worst in these things..it's not like I (we) have a horse and wagon out back or a hotel fund...scoff.)  That and I just furnished my house - my selfish side said "we will float away on top of the sofa, tv and the Apple."

4. The fact that the 25th was my birthday - somehow overruled the logic of mother nature.  This is very stupid, but when "the fever" and a natural disaster hits at the same time: then you can tell me how you bravely forgot about yourself and drove off into the middle of nowhere.


In the days following - the water dried up probably faster than ever before. My neighborhood lost two trees and one beloved member of my flower bed met it's doom (my favorite f*n flower).  I learned that Norfolk's power/electrical grid has a priority list and apparently people that live near Cogans, Doumars, and No Frill Grill are not on that priority last.  I also learned that people that live near hospitals are not spared either - it's just usually the case that those locations have some sorta back up power implementation in place.

The next hurricane I may drive home..or start working out more for my own showing on the weather channel - especially if it's on my birthday. 

580 pixels - check dimensions tomorrow.

I'm not asking you to leave.....

I really loved this silly little blog for a time.  And as silly as cliche's are, I really wanted to say peace out instead of just disappearing off somewhere else. You see OEF was here before Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter.. It was this happy retreat where I could share my life. Fast forward to present: there are too many ways to share and like that guy in college.. I am now "the 30 year old".  People are more single serve cones and like their life experiences in 140 characters or less.

I'm still too lazy to communicate the old fashioned way - i.e. the phone.  I still see Hench and G in cyberspace (everyday) and occasionally in real life. That being said - I started this blog with a group and it feels odd to jabber on here in a solo capacity.  I came to this conclusion oddly enough watching the Temptations concert at Town Point Park, and then felt robbed when I found out it was only one member of the Temptations.  I shivered thinking: OEF featuring Leslie...or myself standing by the microphone with two empty mikes by my side.  It's the same old song, but a different meaning since you've been gone..

You can still find me over in Lavaponyland and on Facebook and I'm going to eventually start my own solo writing blog when the time permits. It'll probably be lists of things I like or song lyrics..or lists of things I f*kn hate! Or maybe more of the same.

It's been real y'all.

The critical hour...

I'm trying desperately hard to keep my eyes open at my place of employment in these last 2 hours (120 minutes).  I don't want to resort to Red Bull or 5 hour energy (pretty sure I'm at the conclusion of a crash from said beverages).  I seriously feel like one of those kids from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, except instead of Freddie Krueger, I'm facing something much scarier...UNEMPLOYMENT.

Just kidding..but seriously. So tired...not bored..just sleepy.  Energy where are YOU!!!?