True Life - I joined Weight Watchers at Work.

“Never was a mustard girl, thought it was a good solution hanging with Mayo girls....”

I’m not going to talk about what I weigh, what I have weighed in the past, and my current week by week .lbs to .lbs. (Not in an actual numbers sense- that is..) I’m not advocating anyone else join or advising anyone on what to give up. I am however, interested in chronicling my attempt at a “diet” which is supposedly not a “diet”. Quite simply, I wanted to try to be a healthier person, and my job is going to reimburse me if get on board and give it a try. So why not?

In high school, some P.E. adviser came in and said to have a healthy lifestyle you have to EITHER diet OR exercise. I decided I would run. I would run forever, if it meant I could eat whatever I wanted. The first time I ran, I ran breathless to the end of the yard, walked back into the house and devoured half a Red Baron Pizza. Now that I was a runner that pizza was mine..right?..right????!

Wrong...... Every food has a price, and many of the prices exists well out of running range. Unless you are an nfl athlete.

I have only ever been what I would consider “fighting weight” during the last three years of college. I had lost some significant poundage post the "freshman 15" at ODU. When asked how - I just said..”I don’t know, I was just happy I guess.” It was true. I was happy (and very very busy).

I’m still very very busy and fairly happy (not joyous, but content all the same). I’ve gained 22 lbs since I transitioned from college student to working girl. You just can’t run constantly when restricted to a square sunless space 8 hours a day. When I get stressed, I’d become accustomed (addicted) to grabbing a high everything Mt. Dew. Since that was my drug of choice, it had to be the thing to battle out first.

After a week of water, diet drinks, 3 days of what I would call semi-starvation and the consumption of foods that tasted like paper; this weekend marked the end of the detox phase where I felt like chasing wild animals and eating them or consuming entire 2-liters of soda. My caffeine headache has subsided to a small throb.

Pictured above are some remnants of this weeks soda detox which included: Lots of Propel (the only form of water I can stomach), some disgusting Crystal Light pomegranate (fruit punch is waay better), and splenda tea in a milk jug (which bothered me immensely that a caffeine product was living in a house that dairy built.)

I was successful in week one of W.W. weight loss, only hungry 3 of 7 days, only “cranky” 2 of the 7, and physically tired all 7 days. Today I'm going to Arby's as a "reward" for yesterdays accomplishment.

Here's hoping I can stay strong the next 11 weeks.

Christmas Moose on Skates

So I joined the Herndon/Reston Freecycle group on Yahoo about three weeks ago, because we have a lot of crap that I don't really want to throw away, but it is such a hassle to use Craigslist, with the emailing back and forth, and the haggling, and the setting up a time to meet, blah blah blah. Plus, some of it is stuff that people won't really pay for.

So far, I have "freecycled" candle holders, an old XM receiver, a cake pan (w/lid!), miscellaneous bath products, an espresso machine, plastic bed risers, and dog coats that didn't fit Shortie. It is great, you can just give the "winner" your address and put the crap in a bag with their name on it on your front porch. No money is exchanged, so you don't actually have to meet any of these people!

In return, I've received a meatloaf pan, some plastic hangers, a Foreman grill, and a mini fridge! The mini fridge is my best score so far. You really have to move fast to get the good stuff, like French doors, rocking chairs, digital cameras, or moving boxes.

Some of the people are a little weird, like the lady who wants you to tell her why you want her castoffs. I guess it helps her decide who is worthy. Me, I just give to whoever contacts me first. I think that is the best way to be fair.

Sometimes, I'm really surpised by the things that I see on Freecycle. But even these items go pretty fast. Once an item is claimed, the offerer posts that the item has been taken. That's how I know somebody out there wants these things, such as:

An electric breast pump -- used!
Hershey's Strawberry Syrup
Bag of car cleaning products
Five (5) holiday cards --unused I presume
Vitamin samples
Traditional pudding bag (WTF?)
Half empty (or half full if you are an optimist) bottle of aftershave
Microwave turntable
Disney smashed pennies (?)
Dog pooper scooper -- used!

And....

One Christmas Moose on Skates!

Larry's New Tat

My brother after teasing me about getting a Koi tattoo went and got one himself. Apparently he didn't exactly hate the idea as much as he let on. I, on the other hand cannot find anything I like enough to have stamped on me forever. Again the whole non-committal nature to anything. This doesn't mean I don't want one, but it may well be 2022 before I make a decision. The only things I'd want would take an entire arm and it's too hot to be sentenced to long sleeves at work for eternity.

BOO.

This gum is not long lasting like the commercials says. On average (through my own human trials might I add) it lasts about 1 minute of flavor. Not only does it loose flavor quick but it almost hurts your mouth about 3 minutes later.

I recommend tic-tacs for fresher breath, longer taste, and bang for your buck.

Epic Fail - Stride gum.

Am saddened I actually paid for you when I can get gum for free.

Tuesday Absurdity

Because I like weird things and pony anachronisms - I found this artist who takes My Little Ponies and transforms them into movie characters.

Man, wait til I find my Strawberry Shortcakes and Rainbow Brights!

Twitter, Beastie Boys---Blog instead of Comment

I decided to blog instead of comment to Leslie's opus on her twitterized consciousness cos' I can get pretty wordy. I will probably contradict myself by getting bored with the topic and quitting after four sentences, but oh well.

I've also recently gotten into this Twitter thing. The only reason I did was cos my friend Jay Mohr was like "Facebook is played out, everyone's on Twitter anyway." He's on neither, but it sparked my interest. The only thing I remotely like about Facebook is posting nonsense statusii, so Twitter gives me "just tha yellas"*. I've had a few random people start "following" me, and I promptly blocked them, but for the most part it's alright. I follow Nightline's tweets b/c I am a super-nerd, and also have discovered through his tweets that ABC News' Dan Harris is an undercover indie rock enthusiast, which totally contradicts his stuffy poindexter on-air persona. Tho it makes me wonder if it's really him tweeting or some intern, secretly forwarding his own musical agenda whilst simultaneously making Dan Harris look like slightly less of a ding-dong. I will say, tho, if the news/media doesn't stop talking about Twitter and what it says about us and celebrities Twittering while they're on a talk-show couch & Diddy trying to influence my 140 characters I'm just going off it. There is no deep meaning.

In the summer of 1999 "Hello Nasty" WAS the best CD ever. Hench shared/shares (maybe still, not sure as we don't ride in the car together on the daily anymore) musical compulsion in that we'll just obsess over a cd or artist for like three months and not want to listen to anything else. There was a Weezer period (mostly Pinkerton), and of course a Ben Folds Five period, and a time for NOFX (as well as a general Fat Wreck fog). In more recent years I've fell into black holes named Kings of Leon, and definitely the White Stripes, M. Ward, and no matter how embarrasing, The Format.

**On some basketball bus trip in high school, my friend Kristy & I determined that yellow was the only worthwhile part of a candy-corn. We planned to launch our own candy-corn line called "Just tha yellas!" So, getting "just tha yellas" is taking only the best part of something. Dummies.

How? Why? Huh?

Spied these exciting diaramas while waiting for my breakfast ciabatta melt.





I think they should step up their drug screening. Seems like they're having too much fun on the night shift.

Twitter Brain - Unfiltered

I signed up for Twitter a few weeks ago and despite my best efforts not to like it - I do. It’s pretty much what you’re doing at the moment, with a limit on letters to keep your twitters from becoming a blog.

I have so much in my head lately I’m having a hard time blogging - so as an experiment I sticky noted all the random randomness I had in my head in my 60 minute lunch hour. No life goals, just things moving in and out as they come to me.

1:45 P.M. - 2:38 P.M. 4/18/09

Waterfowl
I get a text from a friend asking why ducks usually stand with one foot in the puddle. I don’t know why. I don’t know why the seagulls do it either. My personal theory is that one of their feet is cold, so they tuck it away. A second theory is that due to the traffic and general demeanor of most humans here is that the other foot is not tucked away but has been lost in some sorta animal vs. 757 casualty. The first theory is better.

Carson Daly and Me
A guy just walked into Moes. He resembles Carson Daly, except he’s got to be taller than Carson Daly actually is. “Carson” looks for a seat, looks at my table, contemplates, then spots and subsequently seats himself in neighboring two chair situation a table over from me. He looks back, smiles again and I wonder if he’s staring at me because I’m staring at him or if I’m just staring at him because I feel eyes on ME. I decide I’ve stared too long, listen to the jazz song without words and then I contemplate my life as Carson Daly’s spouse. I decide it would be fun at first, but then decide sometime in my 40’s I’d get tired of him futzing with hair product. Meanwhile back at Moe’s, the real guy chomps happily along on his quesadilla unbeknownst of the crazy girl sitting across from him ponders her new imaginary-life-montage with Carson Daly.

Look who's talking now
The radio switches to “Jealous Guy” in Moe’s. I remember Mikey pulling the head off Julie’s stuffed penguin in that 80’s movie about the talking babies. At the same time, I wonder what Terry is saying at home when he’s making odd chirps and gestures. Tiesha has her own translations but I think mine are more realistic. Like at Halloween, when one of her coworkers with a newborn suggested she dress up as a clown. In my head, I did a Terry voice saying “you should dress up as a giant boob”.

Ad-Roc
In the car it’s the Mike and Bob show. Beastie Boys Sure Shot is on and I think of Carol Ann. The image is usually proceeded with her declaring Hello Nasty is the BEST cd ever. I think about how much I like the part where the song slows:

I Keep My Underwear Up With A Piece Of Elastic
I Use A Bullshit Mic That’s Made Out Of Plastic
To Send My Rhymes Out To All Nations
Like Ma Bell, I’ve Got The Ill Communications

Sunshine
I see a girl running through Larchmont and wish I was her for a minute with Beastie Boys in my ipod and not my car. Its beautiful today. The dogwoods have bloomed and then I start to cough a bit and realize subsequently why I don’t like spring.

96x Work advice
Back to Mike and Bob where they are talking about their coworker calling the lowest person on the work food chain to call in sick. Mike says something to the effect of “ya, don’t call the guy standing by the port ‘o pot to tell HIM you won’t be in the following day”. I laugh in my car and think this might possibly be one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a minute because that is logical.

Welcome back
Hit the CLJ parking lot after a 15 minute delay from the train. Tried unsuccessfully to secure some change for the soda machine and came up with 37 cents and a stick of Big Red. Pondered how cool it would be if soda machine offered barters (like gum) for Mt. Dew.

Back in the chair..blogging :)

Mouthy Broads

Two years ago, my mom hinted that she'd like to take up beading as a hobby. So, for her birthday, my sister & I loaded up on all the beading supplies we could find. On the next birthday, a full year later, when the beading supplies had gone completely untouched, my sister & I decided to take up beading---if nothing else to burn through all the stuff we'd bought. But we went off the rails somewhere. Our basement turned into a mini bead store in itself. We mostly made/make badge holders---a prettier alternative to those shoelace-looking thing with the faded/flaking screenprinted logos from which most people at the hospital hang their credentials from.

In my obsession with all things beads & beading; I pondered the idea of making my own beads. Glass-blowing, however, is way too expensive for an ancillary hobby. So I started playing with polymer clay. And I made some truly hideous beads. Frustrated at my sheer suckitude---I just wanted to make something that looked like something. So I made a little head & gave it some swirly hair. Tiny beaded eyes, and a big fat mouth, in my mind saying "what did you expect---michelangelo you ain't".

I made a few more just-heads, initially wanting to use the just-heads as focal-type beads in my badge holders. Then, one time, I had a bunch of orange clay mixed up & left over. It was too much for a just-head, so I gave it arms and a torso. I made some lovely pink spaghetti flowing hair with a clay extruder my brother gave me for Christmas. She was totally topless---but she was the first, if rudimentary, broad. Next, I tried making some
clothes, and it wasn't so hard. I was kind of in love with this idea. So I just started making more & more. And my basement suddenly had a few dozen very bossy-looking tiny residents.

In perusing Etsy, I found that lots of people like to play with clay. And yarn. And plaster. And beads. And every other kind of crafty type of thing---and people give them money for it. So I started a store. I've been in business for 2 days and I've sold two broads. Admittedly both to my brother, because he loves me, but he did pay actual money + shipping so he's a customer. Even if my Mouthy Broad empire never takes off, I'll probably still make them. If only so my sister will keep making up squawky voices for them & giving them ridiculous lives.



You can get to the store from the "mini-store" in the sidebar of this here blog. And if you don't like them, maybe look at some other stores. There's a lot of cool handmade stuff!

They say it's your birthday!

duh, na-na-nuh na nuh!

Larry doesn't read this blog at all. Sooooo I'm going to post pictures of him. 25 years young. I still remember him wondering around ODU trying to find G's apartment.
"Uh, is my sister here??" LOL