Our Electronic Friendship

I know you guys have watched the scene in “Pretty Woman” where Julia Roberts is turned down by the snooty sales lady. She’s brave for a minute and then she starts crying “but...I have money, he gave me all this money!” She cries and you are sad for her because even with the money, she’s still broke. And that’s the way I felt yesterday leaving yet another car dealership, because to them regardless of my job or how much cash I have in my pocket, I’m still broke poor ass Leslie.

Granted I made some credit mistakes, but I paid all those mistakes off. Every penny. Most of them two or three years ago. Does anybody care except me?! NO.

For those of you who have great credit. Go and read another entry. This blog does not pertain to you. Buy a Volkswagon Tourag and tell me how great it handles and how sweet your blue tooth technology is. I’m sure you can afford On-Star and if that’s the case you can drive to my house and pick my broke ass up. My current car isn’t nearly as cool as your tourag anyways.

So to all you first time auto buyers with not so good credit, or no credit buying a car let me give you some insight on the real tip.

1. If the dealer starts off with “we don’t make deals here, the price is the price.” Then leave. Right there. If they don’t wanna take off any money at all, or at least pretend that there is a possibility then they don’t really wanna sell that f**ker.

2. If you have some money saved up for a massive down payment don’t tell them until after they show you your payments without that down payment. Dealers will hike up the price of the car even more just to steal your massive down payment. You don’t really need interior paint sealant or cup holders in your trunk! Do you??

3. Take alot of people with you, especially if you are a girl. A big burly man type or someone conveying power could work to your advantage. Small people are easy marks. You are less likely to be hearded from room to room alone and goaded into feeling like you have to buy the car or your life will end. Nobody wants to buy a Fiat or a Daewoo, don’t be tricked into it.

4. Throw your payment estimator out the window. An 11k car is really 12,500 after tax, title, licensing and.......after that financing...that car is really 17k. The only number that means something is your APR --- get that rate from the dealer and if that start at anything over 12 then you are in essence tacking on at least 5-9k extra on to the price of that car.

APR is everything. If your credit score is under 620 - dealerships can go as high as 20 but.....they can go as low as 12. They can DO it. I’ve seen it done twice.

5. If your current car runs, go right now fill it up with gas and thank it for driving you and your compatriots around all the time. Not everybody has a car, and while status doesn’t mean everything - motility means ALOT.