I don't wanna grow up

I'm having a mid-twenties crisis. I've realized that I haven't a clue what I want to do with my life. I seriously have NO leanings in any particular direction. The only thing I've determined is that I don't want to be someone's assistant forever. Yes, I understand one must pay dues to get to the top or whatever, but I haven't the foggiest as to what profession I'd want to get to the top of.

I have a crazy laundry list of skills & interests, but none add up to any clear-cut career choice. I thought I was being slick having generic majors like English & Communications, reasoning that being able to write and talk would prepare me to do anything, but I've found they qualify me to do nothing. Maybe except teaching others to write & talk.

Why can't someone pay me to make crappy slap-dash graphic art? Oh wait....

So the other night my sister was watching CSI: Miami and I realized that the sort-of doughy wise-crackin forensic pathologist was none other than that skinny bowl-cut sportin' wise-crackin sorta bohemian Lukas from Empire Records. I don't know why this made me so sad, but I can't get over it.

I've never been very cool, admittedly, but I was certainly cooler ten years ago than I am now (crush on Eric Nies, aside). I feel like every minute that ticks away from my heady younger days, the closer I am to listening to Top 40 radio & referring to my pants as "slacks". Did Lukas aspire to end up on USA reruns with friggin' David Caruso? I read somewhere that after Empire Records he lived with Renee Zellweger for like 4 years. Now she's got an Oscar, and is married to a midget country music phenom, wearing Carolina Herrera pajamas.

Anybody else? Or am I flappin' in the wind over here?