9021-no!

So I’d taken a sabbatical from the blog for about a week. After reading CA’s epic novella of what will become the anti-“Beaches”. (The One with the Bad Friend) Barbra Hershey and Bette Midler this rag tag group is NOT. Hell, we are not even a good 90210 class. You can’t have a cast of all Shannon Dohertys. My mind was awhirl with various words of wisdom; some of spite, some of crazy evil. Words so crazy, in fact that I began my own novella: which consumed me through most of Monday and Tuesday. With my thoughts being so errant as they often are, my novella composed itself in awkward places: during a power point presentation, a trip to the gym, and during inappropriate times at work. Therefore, it was never properly laid pen to paper or what not.

An OBF visited me in my dreams last night. She told me I needed to call my brother as soon as I woke up. Rather than the contents of the message I seemed overly pre-occupied with the messenger. I sorta knew why it was her, but not really sure why my mind conjured her up to give me important warnings for the day ahead of me. I did heed her warnings and I called my brother to say good-bye. However, I can’t say the whole thing didn’t leave me with a slight chill.

This particular dream sequence guest had been an extreme source of angst for a period of time for CA. She had been the “tha original bad friend” or as CA would have said a thousand years ago, the source of all that is evil and unholy. I tried to abbreviate to “the OBF” but Tiesha said way to many other inferences could come from those initials.

Bad friend, if you really think about the word, it’s sort of an oxymoron. I mean, they can’t really be your friend if they are bad. I do not necessarily think not returning phone calls makes you a bad friend. Even sending mass emails rather than taking time to compose a thoughtful note doesn’t make you a bad friend. If so I’d be willing to bet there are a lot of bad friends out there. I don’t think it makes you a bad friend, just a neglectful one.

I’ve only had one OBF in my entire life. A bad friend (by my definition) is someone who willingly and mischievously sets out to injure you in someway, using some personal tidbit of information that you’ve shared with them out of trust. They take this tidbit and reveal it a key moment when it will do a colossal amount of damage. I think CA uses the term “nugget.” A bad friend listens, but doesn’t really care. I think a bad friend doesn’t evolve with you. They maybe only willing to accept the person they first came to like, without really being able to grasp who you may become.

My OBF laid waste to my self-esteem in ’92, by a very public refusal to share a seat on a school bus. This sounds silly, but I considered this person to be my FRIEND. It’s been a long ass time, but when this OBF talks to me now (which believe it or not, sometimes OBF’s attempt this) my blood boils. Maybe this is a sign I’m not mature enough to move past, but you know what, this bitch hurt my feelings! It brings me an odd sorta glee to see her handing out cheese clumps at Wal-mart and even more evil glee to walk over and get one from her.

I try not to think about OBF’s that often, whether my own or someone elses. As for friend neglect, it is punishable offense, but can be cleared with community service and the occasional “zany” phone call.

There ARE more important things to worry about like:

I told Tiesha last week that the end of the world was nigh. The first harbinger of the apocalypse had arrived in Norfolk last Wednesday. No, not the war in Iraq or a rash of random domestic violence; when I talk about the end of the world coming, I will say it started with a tomato.

Food Lion was the first to see the crisis, followed by Wendy’s, Wal-mart, and the Farmer’s Market in Covington (or so this is the order in which I discovered the impending doom). A sign in the produce section decreed “Due to a drought from our primary growers, tomatoes this year are in short supply leaving us with high demand. Bare with us as our prices rise (or something to that effect).” On my second trip to Wendy’s the other day, there was no tomato on my sandwich, the cashier then informed me, “Mam, you must ask for tomatoes now, please pull ahead.” A similar case ensued at Wal-Mart, then reality set in at home when the always ample Farmer’s Market selection looked barren.

Larry left for the Air Force. Mom’s talked to him twice since last week. He sounds really happy from what she said. He’s safe until August anyway. Nicole B. gave me the best advice I’ve heard on the whole debacle, saying that maybe by then there would be some closure to this mess. I don’t believe it, but all the same-it made me feel better. Justifying and explaining my political feelings is a blog in itself and this one may just be long enough. Things are different for me now that it’s MY little brother jeopardizing his life.

Last week, I believe reality T.V. got its first taste of domestic violence. I didn’t see it, but it was enough to cause yelling and shouting across the board from a few of my co-workers and a couple of my friends. You guys watch the “Amazing Race” right? I stopped watching last season after Mirna and Charla got cut. I’ve switched my focus to “America’s Next Top Model” it really is funny how girls discover the true hardships of being a model. Hell, I’d stick a tarantula to my head for a quatzillion dollars. What are those girls complaining about?
.....more to come...