I have a confession.
I hate playing. I hate playing princesses. I hate playing dinosaurs. I hate playing trains. I hate playing tea party, and animals, and I hate playing grocery store with the cash register, although I hate that game a little less than others. I hate playing in the bathtub. I hate playing while we get ready for bed.
I dread hearing "Mommy, do you want to play with me?" in that sweet little voice. I feel so utterly guilty that I hate playing. I think I hide it well most of the time, when I force myself to say "Yes, of course I want to play with you!" I don't, I really don't! But I know I have to, and I know one day I'll be sad that Kai doesn't even want to look at me, let alone spend any time playing with me.
I know of one person that absolutely refuses to play with their kid. Just flat out won't play, tells him "Go play on your own." That feels too cruel. Kai does need to learn to play on her own, but not that way. I feel like that would crush a kid's spirit. I don't know this person firsthand; I wish I did so I could know if they are telling the truth, and if so, how do they live with the guilt when they see the disappointment on their kid's face??
My mom said I never liked to play by myself when I was a kid. Great. But at least I had a sibling. Kai only has her parents. And right now, she only wants me to play with her.
I come from a long line of sticks in the mud, which is why I think I hate playing. I didn't hate playing as a kid, but abhor it as an adult. But like much of my life now, my time is no longer my own.
So play I will. But you can't make me like it.
I hate playing. I hate playing princesses. I hate playing dinosaurs. I hate playing trains. I hate playing tea party, and animals, and I hate playing grocery store with the cash register, although I hate that game a little less than others. I hate playing in the bathtub. I hate playing while we get ready for bed.
I dread hearing "Mommy, do you want to play with me?" in that sweet little voice. I feel so utterly guilty that I hate playing. I think I hide it well most of the time, when I force myself to say "Yes, of course I want to play with you!" I don't, I really don't! But I know I have to, and I know one day I'll be sad that Kai doesn't even want to look at me, let alone spend any time playing with me.
I know of one person that absolutely refuses to play with their kid. Just flat out won't play, tells him "Go play on your own." That feels too cruel. Kai does need to learn to play on her own, but not that way. I feel like that would crush a kid's spirit. I don't know this person firsthand; I wish I did so I could know if they are telling the truth, and if so, how do they live with the guilt when they see the disappointment on their kid's face??
My mom said I never liked to play by myself when I was a kid. Great. But at least I had a sibling. Kai only has her parents. And right now, she only wants me to play with her.
I come from a long line of sticks in the mud, which is why I think I hate playing. I didn't hate playing as a kid, but abhor it as an adult. But like much of my life now, my time is no longer my own.
So play I will. But you can't make me like it.
6 comments:
It's okay if you don't like to play. The important thing is you do, and K doesn't seem to notice or mind. And if it gets to be too much to bear, or you've had your fill of imaginary pastries of princess realm - Lady Gardler of Mays Landing, or The Duchess of Norfolk, Avonshire Paxton would be happy to take up the slack - if one might transport princess K via trusty horse Pete. And we'll have cake, and you NEVER have to dance.
Summer vacay with aunties! Yay!!
She has a teta for plenty of playing! But really, I agree that playing seems stupid and boring. That's why I always try to mix it up...refuse to play by the kid's rules, pointing out how ridiculous they are, or that they're not ridiculous enough. And Paxton is right, Kai has no idea that you don't like to play---because you're not a mean/bad mommy. You don't have it in you to be cruel.
I actually find your confession refreshing given all the sugary-sweet accounts I'm bombarded with on Facebook of how friggin magical it is to play with one's kids. Let's be real...kids are dumb. Their brains are much less developed than ours. And even when they have a good idea, they totally wear it out by repeating it 708 times immediately.
I am rambling because I am tired. But I also want to say I'm good at playing with kids cause I have none of my own. Don't beat yourself up!
Thanks doode!
I ran across this today in my facebook feed and thought this was relevant to this posting (no matter how much you love the little ones).
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/27-reasons-why-kids-are-actually-the-worst-6z51?sub=1801947_630076
I've seen that list before and it's great. My favorite is "#23. They literally have no idea what's going on ever." That little girl looks how I feel today.
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