May 27th
Mom is here. Yay! New flowers, clean house, and avalanche of Judy-type software updates to install.
June 8th
My mom bought me quite possibly my favorite present... Wait correction, 3rd favorite. Seafish being #1 (my first car!) and Cob Web (the grumpy cat) being #2. Opsail parade witnessed.
June 9th
Hair did. Confidence overflowith. Harborfest/Opsail (?) fireworks from great non-chaotic parking spot. Mental note taken and location logged in.
June 10th
Mom is gone. So sad. So alone. - Ooo, True Blood is back on!
June 16th
Checked out Boardwalk Art show with Miss Page and realized I was undercharging for basically everything I've ever done.
June 18th
Softball Blitzkrieg: The Unicorns fall in a most unceremonious and painful manner..oh wait that was my arm.
June 24th
Kayaking trip with the Page sisters - Pros: Seen dolphins, pelicans, and seagulls catching fish! First experience propelling and steering watercraft.
Cons: 3rd experience with sea/heat sickness, nauseating swaying, total failure at boat safety, the scariest bruise I've ever incurred, and total failure at dragging kayak 2 miles down the shoreline.
June 25th
First ever rained out softball game - not entirely sad about this, mostly due to the infamous and not famous yet - "Kayak Beatdown" and arm decomposing while attached to body. Get overcharged for food at the exchange - not a total loss here...much needed "uniform" and Navy community research.
June 26th
Left work early to attend to home wear and tear. Played Zelda with LJ until the nunchuk finally made it's final ascent into tech heaven. Note: LJ "blows" on the Wii Mote the same way I used to blow the dust out of the old catridges.
June 29th
Midnight Tornado strikes Covington...Mom sends cryptic text at 1am rather than calling me. I start to worry this is the end of the phone conversation in a real meaningful way.
June 30th
Crazy storms and heat waves make it to Norfolk. Finally catch up "verbally" with my mom. She's okay but lacking basically all items that separate us from the cave dwellers. Beyonce (the cat) wedges herself between the stove and the cabinet and gets some sorta cooking oil all over her fur. I incur the fury of "bathpocalypse". The yellow guppy dies. I'm suspecting an inner tank murder scenario. My money is on Red Guppy aka Mayhem.
July 6, 2012
June 6, 2012
Savings??
I was taught as early as grade school that witholding education was a way that people were able to gain power over other people. So even then, I thought if I got smarter on topics to which I was ignorant to - then people would no longer have POWER over me. So I read, I went to class, and learned all manners of things except FINANCE. So now, I'm taking power back over my money..and thought I'd share my findings with like minded people.
As G can attest to, I seemingly break down emotionally via telephone once or twice a month over where my money is going and how I can be working all the time in perpetual motion and not have a house or a yacht to point to as mine. In particular my grievance is that I seemingly cannot hold or maintain any sort of savings account. The thing is; say I have $500 in the SAVINGS ACCOUNT. What usually will happen is: a rock will fly through my windshield (true story); I will get a hospital bill from hell (true story); or I will have to pay some cray cray deposit even though I've lived here more years than I care to think (true story).
The things I took away from class today (in Leslie-speak):
Your money should start with the 70-20-10 principle.
- 70% of money toward living expenses.
- 20% of money toward indeptness.
- 10% of money towards saving/personal/miscellaneous.
A savings account is only a benefit if you have paid or are paying your life expeditures in a timely manner. If you put your mortgage payment on your credit card..that is not a good idea.
Paying $100 towards your credit* card payment if you're going to spend $100 is also not a good idea. Pay more than the minimum..but unless you are closing the card account - put that money towards the 70% (living) and not the 20% (indeptness) . More on credit cards after my Understanding Credit class.
Budget for everything.
Your haircut, your gas, your groceries, your fun, your 7-11 trips - that is under LIVING EXPENSES not the 10%.
Savings vs. Investments
If you're going to save money you want it to work for you.
Say you put $100 under your pillow in 2011. In 2012 it's still $100. No movement, the money is not working for you (and inflation has most likely occurred to outside expenses).
How much interest accrues on a regular savings account over a year? (Not much)
Sooo -
Ask your bank what types of money market / investment options they offer for long term savings (could mean 2, 5, 10 years..this is different than retirement). Base your contributions on the money you have left over from your spending plan. Sure there maybe an early withdrawal fee, but if you've made a profit - the money lost will come from the money you quite possibly doubled (by putting the money to work).
Example - setting a goal of 10k by Jan 2014.
Putting in: $555 a month in savings will get you 10k in 18 months.
But what if you put $250 into a money market account for 18 months (same amount of time). There is the potential to earn 20k, lose 6 to taxes/penalties and make 14k?
and that's how money works for you.
This blog was supposed to be about Mother's day (but I think she's proud of my efforts to stay financial sound.) Also Judy doesn't even read my blog.
Next up: How not to damage a tiny ecosystem. Why Leslie shouldn't probably shouldn't own an aquarium.
May 10, 2012
The Best Week(ish) Ever!! April 30 - May 10
You b***chs are wearing me out! (but I think I like it).
LOGAN'S
This is place is yummy and you can get alot of food and drinks for $20. Why oh why (?!) have I overlooked the restaurants right outside of my own house! WW startup postponed again.
ART SHOW
My boss hosts a yearly pottery sale in her back yard and lets some of her peeps join in the fun. To be honest, I didn't know what to "sell" so I wasn't as prepared. I didn't actively market this to my entire friend group for the same reason. Many of my pieces are just commissioned for your own purposes so it's weird trying to sell something I've drawn for myself. For the next sale - I'll be alot more structured and much more inviting. Readiness. I can haz this!
CINCO DE MAYO
I had company! I mean real drink making, movie watching, college margarita mixing guests. Which brings me to Tequila which you should not drink the night before....
A COLOR ME RAD RACE
.....see the picture...it was like that except for the actual running which was like a herd of wet humans tromping through a mud bog. Some mental notes: Getting messy like kindergarden = fun. Trying to get any kinda of speed through the horde/tiny mud path = not so much. Running post tequila..not good.
WINNING
We won our SECOND softball game. Technically it was a tie, but we did NOT lose. It's just that both teams WON. And that's some real knowledge I'm dropping. My concise recap: their girls walked, our girls hit (real women hit...and look pretty doing it). Our guys hit (50% into the hands of some guy with magnetic gloves or taking steroids).
Up next: Profiles in Dopeness - Mother's Day Edition..
LOGAN'S
This is place is yummy and you can get alot of food and drinks for $20. Why oh why (?!) have I overlooked the restaurants right outside of my own house! WW startup postponed again.
ART SHOW
My boss hosts a yearly pottery sale in her back yard and lets some of her peeps join in the fun. To be honest, I didn't know what to "sell" so I wasn't as prepared. I didn't actively market this to my entire friend group for the same reason. Many of my pieces are just commissioned for your own purposes so it's weird trying to sell something I've drawn for myself. For the next sale - I'll be alot more structured and much more inviting. Readiness. I can haz this!
 |
| Many of these pieces are still for sale! |
I had company! I mean real drink making, movie watching, college margarita mixing guests. Which brings me to Tequila which you should not drink the night before....
A COLOR ME RAD RACE
.....see the picture...it was like that except for the actual running which was like a herd of wet humans tromping through a mud bog. Some mental notes: Getting messy like kindergarden = fun. Trying to get any kinda of speed through the horde/tiny mud path = not so much. Running post tequila..not good.
 |
| Damn Hippies. |
WINNING
We won our SECOND softball game. Technically it was a tie, but we did NOT lose. It's just that both teams WON. And that's some real knowledge I'm dropping. My concise recap: their girls walked, our girls hit (real women hit...and look pretty doing it). Our guys hit (50% into the hands of some guy with magnetic gloves or taking steroids).
Up next: Profiles in Dopeness - Mother's Day Edition..
May 2, 2012
Leslie-o-Rama Spring 2012 Edition
Dear Diary blog blob..whatever...
It's been the busiest of times and I need a Red Bull. NO seriously..a Red Bull light anymore? 5 Hour Energy please? Coffeee??
On those pesky lbs. ...
To begin; the moment I declared that I was going to restart my Weight Watchers plan, seemingly everyone around me wanted lunch, dinner, and all manners of snacklicious yum yums, pot-lucks and free foods. I pressed pause on the dietary issues in favor of social graces..but June is less than a month away now and I don't want to be wearing a sensible cardigan (or sensible anything) on the beach. So cheers to a new start - wish me luck. Goodness knows it will be tough to have two tacos instead of my normal five.
On Freelance and Volunteer endeavors...
A personal victory: I inched ever so close to my dream job of bartending this past Saturday. I wanted to test the theory of "situational hotness" from HIMYM. There wasn't any White Snake or Warrant playing and I mostly served weird brown beers to myself and sang tunes from Disney's The Little Mermaid but I had fun. I carded two women bordering on a century old and gave us all a good laugh, as it turns out a red orange wrist band won't get you into Scope but it will get you some Killians. I hope someone cards me at 91 (or chip since I'm sure we'll be implanted with them soon).
An educational nugget to file away for future use: bartending and freelancing will get you a fancy staff badge, it will not get you into any functioning restroom. (Thank you again MacA for saving me from yet another set of restroom shenanigans).
On softball..
Up until this past Monday my softball team - The Unicorns of the Apocalypse - had not experienced the glory of victory. I have however; experienced: many many many domestic-violence-looking- bruises, ruined tennis shoes, hair bigger and frizzier than a lion's mane, and massive amounts of mosquito bites. If we never win again - I will remember April 30th as the day the little team that coudn't actually DID. And also that my iphone failed miserably at GPS by getting me lost in a scary scary section of Pungo.
On unicorns and spirit animals..
What's with all the unicorns?
Simply put - my friend Marcia nicknamed me the Beer Unicorn in early 2011.
Why?
Because of my magically uncanny ability to conjure free "spirits" AND new friends at public festival related events. This theme trended into the following day with the horn symbol..(a pointy finger in front of the forehead signifying the occurrence of a social event).
What about the softball team?
Merely a coincidence...they were Unicorns before I joined (in the fall of 2011)..and just got more magical upon my joining.
Are you really a unicorn?
That completely depends on your imagination and if you believe in the power of awesome.
It's been the busiest of times and I need a Red Bull. NO seriously..a Red Bull light anymore? 5 Hour Energy please? Coffeee??
On those pesky lbs. ...
To begin; the moment I declared that I was going to restart my Weight Watchers plan, seemingly everyone around me wanted lunch, dinner, and all manners of snacklicious yum yums, pot-lucks and free foods. I pressed pause on the dietary issues in favor of social graces..but June is less than a month away now and I don't want to be wearing a sensible cardigan (or sensible anything) on the beach. So cheers to a new start - wish me luck. Goodness knows it will be tough to have two tacos instead of my normal five.
On Freelance and Volunteer endeavors...
A personal victory: I inched ever so close to my dream job of bartending this past Saturday. I wanted to test the theory of "situational hotness" from HIMYM. There wasn't any White Snake or Warrant playing and I mostly served weird brown beers to myself and sang tunes from Disney's The Little Mermaid but I had fun. I carded two women bordering on a century old and gave us all a good laugh, as it turns out a red orange wrist band won't get you into Scope but it will get you some Killians. I hope someone cards me at 91 (or chip since I'm sure we'll be implanted with them soon).
An educational nugget to file away for future use: bartending and freelancing will get you a fancy staff badge, it will not get you into any functioning restroom. (Thank you again MacA for saving me from yet another set of restroom shenanigans).
 |
| Even you Uniformed Officer/Performer will be carded.... |
On softball..
Up until this past Monday my softball team - The Unicorns of the Apocalypse - had not experienced the glory of victory. I have however; experienced: many many many domestic-violence-looking- bruises, ruined tennis shoes, hair bigger and frizzier than a lion's mane, and massive amounts of mosquito bites. If we never win again - I will remember April 30th as the day the little team that coudn't actually DID. And also that my iphone failed miserably at GPS by getting me lost in a scary scary section of Pungo.
 |
| Blurry Pictures of the UoA's Victory Night |
On unicorns and spirit animals..
What's with all the unicorns?
Simply put - my friend Marcia nicknamed me the Beer Unicorn in early 2011.
Why?
Because of my magically uncanny ability to conjure free "spirits" AND new friends at public festival related events. This theme trended into the following day with the horn symbol..(a pointy finger in front of the forehead signifying the occurrence of a social event).
What about the softball team?
Merely a coincidence...they were Unicorns before I joined (in the fall of 2011)..and just got more magical upon my joining.
Are you really a unicorn?
That completely depends on your imagination and if you believe in the power of awesome.
April 25, 2012
Reluctrant Truce
After finishing my 5th powerpoint for my new new job (which is another entry for another time) I decided to fully accept Powerpoint into my life and resume. We've had our ups and down, in the years post college I've thumbed my nose at this program, figuratively mooned it, and fairly sure I've made fart noises in it's general direction. I push it away year after year and there it is..back at my door..like a lyric from a scary love song.
So powerpoint, for better or for worse..I accept you as a valid design program. I will no longer complain, but design each presentation as if it were a keynote for Steve Jobs, with the artistry and execution of a webpage and the symphony and creativity of an oversized poster.
So powerpoint, for better or for worse..I accept you as a valid design program. I will no longer complain, but design each presentation as if it were a keynote for Steve Jobs, with the artistry and execution of a webpage and the symphony and creativity of an oversized poster.
- yours
Leslie
March 29, 2012
Thursday Random
The recent passing of Whitney Houston and the theatrical re-release of
Titanic have subsequently combined "I Will Always Love You" and "My
Heart Will Go On" in a continuous mash-up loop in my brain. No good can come of epic power ballads combining.
March 12, 2012
Revelations - March 12, 2012
1. Newport News has a scary section that is not in any way tied to the Oyster Point area.
2. Pear Riesling is real..and it comes as a SALAD.
3. Kids do not eat free on Moe's Monday, but you can however enjoy a bloat inducing burrito for $5.
4. I have procrastinated some jobs to the point of almost reckless disregard. (Just how far can you drive on E I wonder?)
5. My eyebrows are indeed blonde and defiant of the rest of my natural hair coloring.
2. Pear Riesling is real..and it comes as a SALAD.
3. Kids do not eat free on Moe's Monday, but you can however enjoy a bloat inducing burrito for $5.
4. I have procrastinated some jobs to the point of almost reckless disregard. (Just how far can you drive on E I wonder?)
5. My eyebrows are indeed blonde and defiant of the rest of my natural hair coloring.
March 7, 2012
Leslies are of both light and dark...
So my friend Jennifer wrote a blog about a "no complaint day" ..below are my thoughts in chat stream about how this day worked out for me:
so it's funny
i tried the day of no complaining
but i found by mid no-complaint day
there was an excess of every other thought
which manifested in me eating tuna helper and falling asleep at 9:47
i think *Leslies must be of both light and dark
or thus may explode from the perpetual sunshine
so it's funny
i tried the day of no complaining
but i found by mid no-complaint day
there was an excess of every other thought
which manifested in me eating tuna helper and falling asleep at 9:47
i think *Leslies must be of both light and dark
or thus may explode from the perpetual sunshine
September 29, 2011
Way Past Perpendicular - Hurricane Irere
**This blog entry is sooper late - but bear with me..I thought I was quitting!
While chatting with Hench today - it occurred to me that I may want to recap the mysticism of Hurricane Irene for posterity and capture the logic of my alter ego..the birthday princess.
To understand Tidewater residents especially Norfolk people, you must understand a few things.
1. Norfolk floods like you see on TV all the time. Especially downtown. If you live in an area that floods like that ..odds are you should permanently evacuate that housing situation. My last job on Hampton Boulevard found me constantly finding new and innovative ways to skirt, ski, skate, slide, or slip past ponding rivers and instant lakes. So now anytime rain falls from the sky the navigational system in my brain kicks into "rerouting" mode. (I literally hear the Magellan girl saying.. reroute to blah blah blah.)
2. Local news vs. National news forecasts were different. Please please don't misinterpret this - thank heavens we have someone to tell us "shits about to get crazy". Some people were not fortunate. Local news said: similiar to Isobel, power loss, tidal flooding (if you live in area that floods), risk of tornado - no lightning due to the speed of the storm..winds have caused downgrade from Cat 2 to Cat 1. Although A. Fox is a madman and gave us the magical fingers in door demonstration of geometry.
 |
| Behold the horror and misspelling of IRERE! (IRENE'S hood cousin!) |
While chatting with Hench today - it occurred to me that I may want to recap the mysticism of Hurricane Irene for posterity and capture the logic of my alter ego..the birthday princess.
To understand Tidewater residents especially Norfolk people, you must understand a few things.
1. Norfolk floods like you see on TV all the time. Especially downtown. If you live in an area that floods like that ..odds are you should permanently evacuate that housing situation. My last job on Hampton Boulevard found me constantly finding new and innovative ways to skirt, ski, skate, slide, or slip past ponding rivers and instant lakes. So now anytime rain falls from the sky the navigational system in my brain kicks into "rerouting" mode. (I literally hear the Magellan girl saying.. reroute to blah blah blah.)
2. Local news vs. National news forecasts were different. Please please don't misinterpret this - thank heavens we have someone to tell us "shits about to get crazy". Some people were not fortunate. Local news said: similiar to Isobel, power loss, tidal flooding (if you live in area that floods), risk of tornado - no lightning due to the speed of the storm..winds have caused downgrade from Cat 2 to Cat 1. Although A. Fox is a madman and gave us the magical fingers in door demonstration of geometry.
And the new Norfolk catch phrase "past perpendicular."
National news said: EVACUATE! STORM BIG AS ASIA! 60 MILLION PEOPLE! SKY IS FALLING! And Virginia Beach residents took advantage of what we actually seen outside and responded like this.
3. The actuality of the day(s) preceding and the event itself was again very different HERE than what the TV was cooking up. All through my birthday (celebrated with unicorn horns and a feast of sorts from my good friend G), my family was texting to GET OUT. And I was like "what in the world!, PFF! I'm in heaven why would I leave??" Crazy talk. That and I had about 8 dollars to my name - no money for friggin gas (I think this is why poor people fair worst in these things..it's not like I (we) have a horse and wagon out back or a hotel fund...scoff.) That and I just furnished my house - my selfish side said "we will float away on top of the sofa, tv and the Apple."
4. The fact that the 25th was my birthday - somehow overruled the logic of mother nature. This is very stupid, but when "the fever" and a natural disaster hits at the same time: then you can tell me how you bravely forgot about yourself and drove off into the middle of nowhere.
In the days following - the water dried up probably faster than ever before. My neighborhood lost two trees and one beloved member of my flower bed met it's doom (my favorite f*n flower). I learned that Norfolk's power/electrical grid has a priority list and apparently people that live near Cogans, Doumars, and No Frill Grill are not on that priority last. I also learned that people that live near hospitals are not spared either - it's just usually the case that those locations have some sorta back up power implementation in place.
The next hurricane I may drive home..or start working out more for my own showing on the weather channel - especially if it's on my birthday.
In the days following - the water dried up probably faster than ever before. My neighborhood lost two trees and one beloved member of my flower bed met it's doom (my favorite f*n flower). I learned that Norfolk's power/electrical grid has a priority list and apparently people that live near Cogans, Doumars, and No Frill Grill are not on that priority last. I also learned that people that live near hospitals are not spared either - it's just usually the case that those locations have some sorta back up power implementation in place.
The next hurricane I may drive home..or start working out more for my own showing on the weather channel - especially if it's on my birthday.
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