Hench ate a pickle once

I was once again cruising the popular stuff on delicious and came across this site, which is basically a portal to run filters on your pictures. Yes, I can totally do this stuff in Photoshop without the help of a website, but as I was trying it out, I chose this photo of Hench from our January summit (the NYC leg) and I just like it. It looks like she should live in that Waking Life movie.

Pretty Words

Found this website wandering around delicious the other day. The first thing that came to mind to plug in was Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe, as I knew there were lots of repeating words to make for good word cloudiness.

We had to read this poem in tenth grade I think, and I always liked to read it out loud, as it could be kind of a tongue twister, and well, I'm just kind of nerdy like that.

The takeover, the breaks over...

It’s been a little over two months since my last blog - as G pointed out last night, “I’ve wrote say, the last NINE entries.” Long story short, my place of employment was purchased by behemoth in the brokerage industry and has left me and several of my colleagues left wondering where, if, and how to fit in. With the new found heat coming down on me, my creative writing time had the kibosh put on it with the quickness. I probably should have made an announcement of blog hiatus or seasonal blog leave but like most storms (career or creative) usually if you lie still and be a little patient it will blow over.

I was told to “embrace the change”. I embraced as people quit, as they let go, as they left. I embraced as the work coming through my office resembled graphics less and less and paperwork more and more. I embraced as my hours turned from 8-5 to 8-8. I embraced my lunches disappearing.

Now, six “where are you??” text messages later --I’m HERE. Hope I haven’t been gone too long.

data can be fun

This new site from the makers of I Can Has Cheezburger? had me snickering today. Mostly the music ones; as the ones where people are just trying to be funny on their own (aside from the pee one) are usually lame. I may have done better than Math 097-098 if they'd used some kick-ass Venn diagrams like this one.

Via Gawker, I think.

No one likes a mustache

Big bro Brian & some work pals in some unidentified foreign country. He asked me to remove a hanger-on.

Comedy, Tragedy

I've been trying to watch more movies lately, having reinstated my Netflix membership for the third time. I've quit twice before. When I first signed up, I was doing the 3 movies at a time deal, but that was far too overwhelming. I felt pressured to watch them and send them right back, to get my money's worth. The second time I think I went to 2 at a time, and instead of not watching them and sending them back and feeling guilty about not having watched; I forged some slap-dash movie copying operation where I would file the movies away to enjoy at my leisure. This lasted for about 12 movies before I tired of the operation, and to date, about a year and a half after the halt of operations, I may have watched 2 of these movies. 1.8, actually, as my copy of Match Point self-destructed at the penultimate scene. The rest are gathering dust in a card-file box under my bed.

So I've been doing better this time 'round, actually watching movies on a much more manageable one-at-a-time plan. This weekend I watched one Netflix movie, then one on actual TV, so I feel kind of accomplished.

The first, Death at a Funeral, was super funny. Like, screaming/laughing so hard my dog left the room in annoyance funny.

The second, An American Crime, was super depressing and scary. But I will say that I much prefer this version of Ellen Page to the Juno one, mainly because she barely spoke. The subject matter, though, was just kind of haunting. Afterwards I immediately took to the internets to read as much about the case as I could find, and in light of my recent neighborly issues, I'm going to be a little more selective about who I flip off in the old neighborhood.

just for fun

This cartoon is in absolutely no way a political statement or a support/dis of any candidate.

I listen to the Howard Stern show each day, and of late, the sound effect employed by Mr. Eric "Fred" Norris that cracks my shit up the most is the one I drew this picture in honor of.

I guess it Obama's current/former minister, Reverend Wright, exclaiming "Obama is a long-legged mack daddy!", which Fred will slip in whenever Mr. Obama comes up in conversation or when Robin is reading a news story about him.

Anyway, I've been trying to fiddle with my Bamboo more, and the idea of a pimp running for president is kind of amusing. I am very proud of myself for drawing this completely from scratch, aside from using a shape for the belt buckle, and some doofy font for the actual quote--which I realize I f'ed up (he just says "long-leg").

Anyway, I wouldn't mind if some people sent me some suggestions for other things to draw. Song lyrics (an old past time), random notions, household objects, etc.

**Update: In the great tradition of my personal lack of journalistic skillz, it wasn't Reverend Wright that called him a long-leg mack daddy, it was a different guy called Reverend Manning.

We've got so far to go...

About a month or so ago, I set out on a mission to toilet train my cat, Pancakes.  I bought something called CitiKitty, which is basically a tray that you place under the toilet seat with segmented rings that can be punched out one by one until your cat is making their poops and pees in the toilet.

BUT FIRST!  There are steps before you get to the rather graphic stage that I arrived at today (see pictures).  I started by placing the litter box adjacent to the toilet for a few days, then gradually raised it a few inches every few days by placing it on all manner of boxes, cake pans, etc.  By the time it was level with the toilet, as recommended it was very much a nightmare version of the princess and the pea.  Once the litter box was level with the toilet, I switched them to the flushable litter that we would be using in the actual toilet phase.  

I wholeheartedly support the idea of flushable litter.  Basically it is made out of teeny-tiny granules of paper that are sort of grayish and sort of look like actual cat litter.  It's better for the environment, better for the cat, better for the toilet---but when coupled with cat pee, you end up with cat pee-scented cement.  So I'm not so sure how flushable it would really be outside of this toilet-training scenario without some rather gruesome chopping maneuvers.

So once they were used to the new litter, I introduced the actual tray in the toilet while leaving the litter box in place.  At this stage, Pancakes mostly played Tasmanian Devil with the litter in the toilet, spraying it all over the bathroom, but still using the actual litter box.  From all the literature I'd read, if you have multiple cats you should go a bit slower with the training process, so we hung out in this phase for a few weeks.  

Next, I emptied the litter box of litter, but left it in the bathroom.  Miraculously, no one peed in the empty litter box.  Rufus mostly sat in it and cried.  Pancakes continued to distribute the litter into all corners of the bathroom from the toilet for awhile, but eventually started peeing in there.  I suspect Lil may have made a few deposits, but I can't prove it, as her pee output compared to Pancakes' is like comparing a shot glass to a Super Big Gulp.  The boy can pee is all I'm sayin.  

So today was the big day when I turned my toilet into the obscene thing you see in these pictures---I cut out the first hole, and judging by Pancakes' reaction, I think we're gonna be in this phase for awhile.  He spent about a half an hour just sticking his arm in the hole, getting freaked out when he hit water, retreating wildly, and then immediately going back for another fishing expedition.  

So there you have it...I'll try to keep you updated on our progress.  

Gardler Minis FTW

All over the finger

[ REDACTED! ]

Carol Ann [ REDACTED! ]

[ REDACTED! ]

Mays Landing, NJ 08330

Monday, April 7, 2008

Ms. [ REDACTED! ]

[ REDACTED! ] Realty Management

[ REDACTED! ] Road, #[ REDACTED! ]

[ REDACTED! ]Township, NJ [ REDACTED! ]

Dear Ms. [ REDACTED! ],

Thank you for taking the time today to speak with both my sister and myself regarding our encounter with [ REDACTED! ] and [ REDACTED! ] [ REDACTED! ] on Saturday, April 5^th 2008. At your request, we are writing to give our statement as to the events as we experienced them, as well as offer our opinion as to a satisfactory resolution to this matter.

At approximately 4:30pm on April 5^th, My sister and I went to the field behind the
[ REDACTED! ] club house with our dog to play ball, as we have on an almost daily basis for the last two years. We were at the field no longer than 5 minutes when I was approached by [ REDACTED! ] [ REDACTED! ]. She informed me that dogs need to be kept on a leash, and when pressed, identified her self as “[ REDACTED! ], I’m on the board”. Ms. [ REDACTED! ] also stated that “we’d all like to exercise our dogs” and she’d “hate to have to fine (me)”. At this time Ms. [ REDACTED! ] left the scene, my sister and I collected our dog, and headed home. As we were approaching our home at #4 [ REDACTED! ], we noticed Ms. [ REDACTED! ] standing in (presumably) her driveway with a 2 or 3 other people. They were all watching us walk towards our house, and a man in the group pointed directly at us. In an admittedly childish gesture, both my sister and I saluted this group with “the finger” (middle). Ms. [ REDACTED! ] thanked us as we entered our home.

Not a moment later, Mr. [ REDACTED! ]was charging across my front yard and standing on our front step. My sister, Carol Ann, stepped outside to speak with him. Mr. [ REDACTED! ] asked if (we) had given his wife “the finger”. Carol Ann confirmed that we had. When asked why, Carol Ann explained that she was unhappy at being reprimanded and threatened with a fine for something that we’ve both been doing for 2 years, as well as have many other residents with their dogs. Mr. [ REDACTED! ] mentioned an unrelated incident involving our dog with another neighbor’s dog, which was confusing. At this point Carol Ann asked Mr. [ REDACTED! ] to leave our property, as she wasn’t interested in an argument with a stranger; especially a male stranger who seemed agitated. Mr. [ REDACTED! ] refused to leave. At this point, our mother, who was seated immediately inside the house asked me to step outside, as she was afraid that Mr. [ REDACTED! ] may get physical with Carol Ann. When I stepped outside, I also asked Mr. [ REDACTED! ] to leave my property. He again refused, and then warned us not to “give (his) wife the finger again”, and stated that we “wouldn’t like what would happen” and “it will be worse than you can imagine, trust me.” At this point, my sister and I retreated into the house, offering that perhaps the police could convince him to leave our front step. At this point, Mr. [ REDACTED! ] sat down on our front step, presumably waiting for the police we promised to call. Mr. [ REDACTED! ]’s wife then approached our house, and [ REDACTED! ] [ REDACTED! ] finally left. We decided not call the police, as we were quite bewildered by this odd situation, though we were quite upset. We had planned to attend a charity event in Cape May County that evening, but did not as we felt uncomfortable leaving our mother alone in the home after being threatened in such a vague manner as did Mr. [REDACTED! ].

It was not until this morning, after speaking with you and viewing the association website (www.[ REDACTED! ].net) that we realized that aside from being [ REDACTED! ] [ REDACTED! ]’s husband, [ REDACTED! ] [ REDACTED! ] is also the President of the Community Association Board.

After having uncertain threats leveled against us over such a small affront as the extension of a finger, my sister and I feel that the only reasonable action is to remove both Mr. and Mrs. [ REDACTED!] from the Community Association Board. We are willing to attend arbitration on this manner at an agreed-upon time and location, provided we are permitted to bring an escort. Thank you for your time an attention to this matter, and we look forward to moving on with a satisfactory solution for all involved.

Respectfully,

[ REDACTED! ]
Carol Ann [ REDACTED! ]

The suburbs are weird.